Byron Crawford’s New Book Just Dropped: Infinite Crab Meats
I don’t read books. I’ve read 1.5 Chuck Palahniuk books. I’ve read 3.5 Max Barry books. And 1 Artie Lange book. The .5 means I get half way through a book, then lose interest and stop reading. And Max Barry is my favorite author. LOL. Oh, I’ve also read 2 or 3 Malcolm Gladwell books. But honestly, that’s it. And the last book I read? That was Byron Crawford’s first book (Mindset of a Champion). It came out last year and it was pretty short, but a great read. Since then, I’ve read the autobiography of Jack Schitt aka nothing.
The point in all of this is that Bol aka Byron Crawford just released his second book. It’s called Infinite Crab Meats. An ode to Rick Ross, if you will. I am already about 1/3rd the way through, and it’s hard to put down. I still haven’t gotten to the chapter in which he goofs on Rap Genius, but I know it’s coming. Spoiler Alert — Bol somehow managed to write a chapter about an average looking white chick with giant cans, he fancies on Tumblr. Detailing her hardships of instant internet fame, having her youtube account deleted for being too risque, lying about being in a car accident and setting up a PayPal donations account, only to have it terminated (probably for fraud). He’s right. He knows what’s interesting. Semi-attractive train-wreck white chicks with luscious cans are interesting. It’s just not every writer that has the ability to pull out those morsels or nuggets of info (the same way the same chick would pull out a cadre of items out of her bra, Peggy Bundy style). Anyways, I’ve just sort of spoiled one chapter, but the good thing about having infinite crab meats at your disposal, is that where there’s one nugget or morsel, there are way more, ready to be digested.
So buy it now, it’s only $3.00 on Amazon Kindle — (I am currently reading it on the Kindle app on my iPhone, but I think you can find it for iBooks, and it’s also avail. on paperback — which is a big step.
It’s the equivalent of a bum-rapper, shooting his music videos for the first time on a RED camera. Not everyone has those means and know-how.
If you’re looking for other formats of getting a hold of the book…
I Just Joined #NewMySpace — And Here’s What My Profile Looks Like…
I’ve only used it for about 30 minutes, so it’s hard to give much feedback. Here are some things/differences I’ve noticed off the bat:
You don’t start off with Tom Anderson as your default first friend. Though, he is on the site and I just friend requested him.
The “Verified badge” is a “V”.
Top 8 Friends is back…which is perfect if you’re in a relationship and want a great excuse for a girlfriend to have a bitchfit should she not be #1 in your top 8.
There are a lot of bands on the service off the jump. “Handlers” a/k/a social media managers have been busy registering their artists. I do find it interesting that when you register, it gives you about 4-5 default artists to “friend” on the homepage, and the only one I heard of was Lana Del Rey, so of course everyone and their mother are gonna friend/circle/connect with Lana Del Rey. It’s almost as if they made the service to give her promotion.
The “new” founders (sans Timberlake) are active on the site and online and interacting. I wonder how closed of a beta this is if they’re this accessible. I just asked them how to get “verified.”
As I said, the beta is closed so you won’t even be able to see my profile, but if you’re in the beta please friend me: http://new.myspace.com/shabooty – otherwise go ahead and request an invite!
More later… Justin Timberlake, waddup thou!
Guess who’s verified on #newmyspace? [Screenshot after the jump]
I am giving away invites to join #newMyspace before everyone else…if you’d like one, leave your email address in the facebook comments below.
After Having Watched 31 Episodes of #BreakingBad in 7 Days, Here Are My Random Thoughts. . .
HAHAHAHAAH I’m not joking, I just counted it up: 31 episodes I watched in 7 days.
Here are some thoughts…NOTE, THESE ARE SPOILERS. Don’t read these if you haven’t yet watched the show — (Breaking Bad is my new favorite show).
First and foremost, this weekend I was on the couch for like 5 hours watching it and then after that, my back tightened up, to where my back hurt…even two days later (today). The show is addicting as meth.
That sucks that they killed off Krysten Ritter’s character, not cause it was a great character, but solely because she’s hot. I think though, if I was the exec. producer/ creator / writer / director of a TV show, I too would find a no name starlet in LA, hire her as a display of my showbiz power, have her on for like 3 episodes, and then kill her due to a drug overdose. I mean isn’t that a POWERFUL move, as a showbiz guy?
Obvs., Bryan Cranston is a bad-ass. Probably my new favorite actor… and yet, his Howard Stern interview earlier this year, it wasn’t very compelling to a non-watcher of Breaking Bad. I am gonna have to go back and listen, now that I am a huge fan. Just saying, it’s night and day, your interest levels of Bryan Cranston after having watched the show.
Even though it’s the character’s shtick, it’s really annoying/hilarious when Jesse Pinkman ends his sentences with, “BITCH!” Lol. I wonder if he’s that “wiggery” in real life. You know, with the over-sized wardrobe and the whole nine yards. I sorta hate when actors that play drug users/dealers have perfectly lasered white teeth. Can you yellow them joints up for accuracy?
They filmed the show in Albuquerque, New Mexico. That’s also where they film the show In Plain Sight, because it’s cheap as fu*k to film out there vs. LA. Yet, ALBQ is the PERFECT locale for this show. I just wonder what came first as far as the chicken and the egg here.
Vince Gilligan is a genius. That goes without saying. It’s a shame he’s not on twitter.
The character Skylar White is a c*nt…AKA THE MOST ACCURATE PORTRAYAL OF A WIFE, in TV HISTORY. Look folks, the first two years of marriage are easy… then wait until your wife turns into Skylar White when you start making mistakes around the house, after your wife has hit the wall. Ha.
Someone on twitter told me that Walter White’s retarded son in the show, is gonna play a young HULK in Avengers 2? Lol. #TeamRetardStrength
Did you know, Save Walter White is a real website? Sony Pictures owns the domain name, I looked it up, naturally.
I think I have two more seasons left… stay tuned in for more afterthoughts! And I’d like to apologize to the pr0nstar, Tasha Reign, because I should be working on posting her candid interview that we did, yet all of my time has been towards this show, if you couldn’t figure it out. It’s just THAT good.
P.s. 2013… My goal/promise is that I am going to interview someone on the show. I have to… erm. even if it’s a frigging supporting actor. Not that I’ve yet to interview someone from my other favorite show, The Wire, but I did link up with POOT (we talked on the phone), ‘cept he turned into a bum-rapper by the time we got around to do an interview, and I had lost interest by then.
Mario is the same good stuff. On HD it’s pretty banging. And like last night I turned my tv off and took the gamepad in my bedroom and still could play it on the gamepad, so that was cool.
I’ll be honest though, the setup process is a bitch and takes forever (several hour set up process). And the biggest thing that irks me is while it hasn’t happened in Mario, in NintendoLand (the bundled game) I’ve had the system freeze up on me (three times so far); so Nintendo needs to hurry up and release an update that fixes that shit! Also, the screen size isn’t right and there aren’t system wide settings yet to change it. But eventually after all of the headaches, it eventually started to become fun despite all of this.
Just a random aside… as I was setting up my new console here were some things I had to google the answer for because like I said, the setup process was a big confusing bitch:
How do you set up your friends list?
How do you register your Nintendo ID?
How do you register your WiiU’s serial number with Club Nintendo?
How do you transfer your Wii’s data to the WiiU?
Why is Nintendo Land freezing three times in a row?
How can I adjust the screensize so it isn’t over-scanned and too large on my HDTV?
How many updates do I have to download? And how long do they take?
Why’s the system slow in loading everything?
I’d say about half of those questions are answered and half are still not… Nintendo needs to step up because this is a major misstep – and you don’t want to piss off early adopters like yours truly.
Lastly, if you have #Wiiu, send me your Nintendo ID’s so we can link up.
I just realized this is an “EXCLUSIVE” review, because I got a sneak peak at the first episode of BrickleBerry before it airs on TV (tomorrow), and let me just say that the clips I have seen online don’t do the episode in whole, justice. It’s really edgy, and funny.
I think maybe at Comedy Central they have adopted the NFL way of life and they have REPLACEMENT Censors at Network Standards and Practices — WHICH IS A GOOD THING! It means the show isn’t edited, watered down, and pussified. It’s edgy and up my alley (I only enjoy BLUE HUMOR). I would be proud to have my name slapped on this cartoon. Lolz.
They effectively brought envelope pushing (pushing the envelope) to the wilderness with this show. And Tosh is smart, he has surrounded himself with folks like Roger Black (Yucko The Clown) and Yucko’s writing partner from The Damn Show fame, WACO. I am sure Tosh will take all of the credit, should this show end up a hit. People who love South Park (or The Howard Stern Show) will LOVE IT. Hands down.
Watch it… Tuesday Sept 25th at 10:30!
In my own words, the main cast of characters on BrickleBerry can be best described as a collective of: TED, a token black guy, Nicole Bass, a hot chick, nature, a lummox, and their boss.
Instead of re-writing a review, here’s the email I sent to my TV producer friend, but since I’m not a name-dropper I won’t even say who, but let’s just say Ryan Seacrest follows him on twitter, and Ryan’s the one that produced this show…cue the email:
I watched the Shahs of Sunset finally (the Persian Jersey Shore)… it actually was remarkably WATCHABLE… it didn’t give me the douche-chills.
Ryan Seacrest’s production company did a good job. Obvs there are similarities like MJ is the Snooki-eqsue fat slob.
But without the ghey dude REZA, there’d be no show. He’s the only one really with that creative personality you need to move a show like that along and give it flare. And thankfully (not to sound homophobic) but he’s not like one of those extra-effeminate gay guys. I mean he def. has the affect when he speaks, but usually everything that comes out of his mouth is funny anyway.
So yeah, it’s a cool show… and I didn’t find anything offensive about it.
Also, that was an interesting thing — that they were allowed to have their cellphones on the show during taping. That’s def a departure from your reality shows? :)
Anyways, just figured I’d give you my two-cents.
Here were some of my live-tweets during the show (read from the bottom, up):
Here’s the deal… if you think I’m the only one that thinks that way (that the album is trash)… just CLICK THRU to see what twitter is saying.
And it’s sorta sad when the best track on WZRD is the song they sampled from the DRIVE Soundtrack. Lazy effort, guys.
Related Cudi Fail: Kid Cudi Loses Temper, Threatens Attendees At Listening Party
“When two individuals who are putting their life out there through song, and they ask for your attention, you [the listeners] give it to them! You came here for a purpose…to hear our music, so f**king listen to it because we’re trying to educate you on what we’re doing…it’s as simple as that!” As people began to clap for the young star, he responded “Don’t clap…A lot of people think I’m an a**hole, but whatever, think what you want! This is what keeps me alive, making these songs, so f**k you if you can’t listen while I’m playing them!” Mr. Rager then dropped the mic to the ground and stormed off of the stage.