Shabooty Review: Kanye West – The Life Of Pablo #TLOP

Kanye_West-The_Life_of_Pablo
Shabooty Review: Kanye West – The Life Of Pablo #TLOP

01. ULTRA LIGHT BEAMS (feat. Chance The Rapper, Kirk Franklin & The-Dream)
I assume that’s North West’s voice in the starting of this song. You know damn well they’re going to make money off her at every angle when she grows up. At least she’s a cuter kid than Blue Ivy. #ShotsFired. This is a good song to listen to if you haven’t attended church in years and you want to repent for your shitty attendance. I’m personally not into gospel music, and this song doesn’t change that fact. And where’d they dig up Kirk Franklin from, ATLAH? Feels like Ye reaching for old Ye, and not quite hitting the mark.

02. FATHER STRETCH MY HANDS Part 1 (feat. Kid Cudi)
So this is my favorite song on the album, and the one I’ve been listening to on repeat. Without this song, the album would be at risk of being garbage. Thanks to this sonic linchpin, the album has legs. How can you not love a song referencing bleached model a$$hole? Kid Cudi actually brought his a-game as well. Wish the song wasn’t so short, but that’s what repeat is for!

03. FATHER STRETCH MY HANDS Part 2 (feat. Desiigner)
Part 2 is not as fire as part 1. In fact it’s forgettable.

04. FAMOUS (feat. Rihanna & Swizz Beatz)
Swizz Beats production is fun to listen to one time. After that, it’s kind of grating. It’s like being at a sock hop and you lost your shoes. Your fun is only limited to the first 30 minutes.

05. FEEDBACK
A song where he complains about “no pu$$y getting bloggers.” And he expects reverence from bloggers? Lolz. Step one: fellate bloggers at every chance. Step two: repeat.

06. LOW LIGHTS
I can’t tell if this is a song or an interlude.

07. HIGH LIGHTS (feat. Young Thug & The-Dream)
Do you think he got his penis an endorsement deal from GoPro? Because that’s what it sounds like. He raps about being rich on this song, yet he’s 53 MM in debt. So which is it? From my guess, Ray J is richer with his sex tape money which sells itself. The fact that he’s rapping about Black Chyna sleeping with Rob Kardashian — he must have written this recently, and it feels rushed. Do people outside of LA even know that Equinox is the gym that the likes of Lindsay Lohan frequent? The slogan should be, “It’s where celebrities sweat out the cocaine.”

08. FREESTYLE 4 (feat. Desiigner)
There are a lot of songs on this album shorter than 2 minutes. I guess that’s good for the pacing. It doesn’t afford you an opportunity to get too bored. That’s a good thing. Probably Rick Rubin’s doing.

09. I LOVE KANYE
I deleted this song off my iTunes because I hate acapella interludes.

10. WAVES (feat. Chris Brown)
This may be one of my fav. songs on the album. But I am very much on the fence. If only The Weeknd was on this song instead of Chris Brown, it woulda been LIT, instead of LITTER.

11. FML (feat. The Weeknd)
I am no Rick Rubin, but this song woulda been hot if it STARTED with the hook. Hook them in with The Weekend’s part since that’s the best part of the song, instead of Ye droning on.

12. REAL FRIENDS (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)
I think it was Fake Shore Drive that said this is Kanye’s saddest sounding album. This song def. sounds gloomy. I guess you’d be into it if you’re feeling emo since you prolly have very few real friends. This song would be good for the soundtrack of the forthcoming Zola prostitute movie.

13. WOLVES (feat. Frank Ocean and Caroline Shaw)
I guess there are multiple versions of Wolves and most people like the other version better. I did enjoy the lyrics about “corny bitches you wish you could unfollow,” because listening to this album the first time, it def. inspired me to unfollow several chicks that have friend-zoned me. And homie don’t play that sh!t. Willfully close those windows and God will open a revolving door!

14. SILVER SURFER INTERMISSION
I don’t do intermissions with voice messages so I deleted this track.

15. 30 HOURS
I read another review which said this is the best song on the album. The ad-libbed nature of the track works for and against it. I enjoyed the lyrics about Matt Barnes driving to beat Derek Fisher’s a$$, but the freestyle nature makes it sound unfinished. I’ve heard Drake reference tracks that sounded more complete. Time he spent on this song: 30 minutes.

16. NO MORE PARTIES IN L.A. (feat. Kendrick Lamar)
This is basically a bonus track which makes the album sound more like a mixtape. Sometimes less is more, and I woulda kept this joint off. Despite how hot Kendrick Lamar may be right now for the hypebeasts out there.

17. FACTS (Charlie Heat Version)
What I said about No More Parties In LA applies to this song. Keep the trash bonus tracks off the album. I know he wants to make people feel like they got their monies worth with Tidal, but these songs are filler.

18. FADE (feat. Post Malone and Ty Dolla $ign)
I guess people in LA were giving Post Malone a hard time because this song was garbage? I don’t mind this song as much as the previous two.

At the end of the day, it’s way better than Yeezus, but the flamethrowers on the album are sparse. It’s still more listenable than Kendrick Lamar… lessbereal. And the fact that ‘Ye constantly seems like he’s about to have a meltdown makes him more likable in my book because I love train wrecks. My takeaway from this album is he should do a Watch The Throne 2 with Kid Cudi. And maybe take a vacation AWAY from the Kardashians and find himself again. If you ask me, I think he’s being exposed to too much estrogen. I think Caitlyn must have slipped an estrogen pill or two in Kanye’s Hennessy. My listening advice: just listen to track 2 on repeat! Score:

SHABOOTY REVIEW: 3/4 BOOTIES

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Saint West the Rapper — Kanye’s Baby Can Have My Name … I’m Retiring!

Saint West the Rapper — Kanye’s Baby Can Have My Name … I’m Retiring!

Since I am up on everything on the internet, the minute it breaks. When it was announced that Kanye’s son was named Saint West, everyone went to twitter and there was a Canadian bum-rapper that already had the name, YEARS AGO! But instead of capitalizing on this potential newfound fame, he ain’t doing shit with it. Typical Canadian. Instead, the #ILLUMINATI pulled some strings and within a few hours, his twitter handle @SAINTWEST was renamed to @SaintWest_ and Kim had ownership of the original account. Isn’t that some old bullshit?

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Kanye West — Nike Can’t Buy Me! All About Adidas, Fam

Kanye West — Nike Can’t Buy Me! All About Adidas, Fam

This is so douchey. This is like the 1st day a chick with brand new breast implants parades around in a bikini. Assuming her proverbial staples have been taken out! Anyways, it seems that becoming a father has reduced Kanye’s assholifiedness. That’s always a good thing!

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The Weeknd – Can’t Feel My Face (Live From The Victoria’s Secret 2015 Fashion Show)

The Weeknd – Can’t Feel My Face (Live From The Victoria’s Secret 2015 Fashion Show)

Is a side-effect of doing coke, not being able to feel your face? Asking for a friend. And you know I am bullshitting because I only have 2 best friends.

This already has 1.7 MM views on YouTube for those of you keeping count at home.

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Drake’s Dad Does TMZ Interview: My Son’s Big Hanukkah Wish: A Dreidel! [VIDEO]

Drake’s Dad Does TMZ Interview: My Son’s Big Hanukkah Wish: A Dreidel! [VIDEO]

Damn yo, Drake’s Dad is a pimp with his little Asian breezy. I guess she figured she couldn’t land Aubrey, so why not land his pimp Dad! Asian women are the smartest! They’re smart enough to know not to shack up with me. A little self-deprecating humor in time for the holidays.

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