5 Observations at the DC HingeApp Memorial Day Party (Shabooty Exclusive)
This past weekend I went a Memorial Day party thrown by the fine folks at @HINGEAPP (It’s a dating app). Here are some of my keen and hopefully comedic observations. By the way, I am an independent entity, so these are solely my expressed opinions, and no one else’s.
1) DC women LOVE TO EAT — there was no centralized food station, so DC
fat chicks were running around like a chicken with its head cut-off trying to find where the food was. (They were being served as horderves by servers).
2) DC women LOVE FREE SHIT — even if it’s not meant for them. At the end of the night, there were gift bags for VIP folks. Half of the women there were turned down to get a bag ’cause they weren’t VIP, and the other half basically stole one, when no one was looking.
3) DC women have no problem being RUDE — what is the cliche definition of being rude? Maybe perhaps talking sh*t to one’s face… at one point this girl I was talking to says to me, “so can you walk away so we can talk about you?” And I was like, “uhh no, you walk away!” I guess I will refrain from calling said person a dumb
c*nt on my blog, but having a personality worth a rat’s ass, was not this chick’s particular forte.
P.s. Next time can the VIPs like yours truly have Hologram LANYARDS, so we don’t get disrespected like this? HAHAH.
4) The permanently present investor – Apparently you can’t go to a shin-dig like this without at least one “investor” in the house. I sort of made a joke to one of the Hinge employees, and I said, “so you guys got Silicon Valley investors?” And the Hinge guy goes, “yep, you see that guy over there in a suit, he’s one of the big money players.” This isn’t me hating, I suppose if I invested money in a start-up and they were throwing an open bar party, I’d at least want to get that part of my investment back, in the form of a liquid dinner!
5) The two Founders are actually really good guys – I think I only made one of them, roll their eyes twice! Go me. Assuming those guys have a good sense of humor (they seemed to), hopefully you’ll see me at the next party, as well!
Bonus) If you’re in the DMV you can get app here. I heard they’re expanding to new cities very soon like next week, but right now it’s centralized to Washington DC, only. And you have to have Facebook to use it.
Pro-tip: don’t name your Facebook account: “Shabooty Bieber,” ’cause women won’t add you back. #FML