Home Piss + Nas On Colbert Report (Video)

I am trying to think of a new title for the hometitle (titlebar name) of my blog…

I was thinkin of this slogan: Shabooty.com: “if your daughters are dating me, you have failed as a parent, but have won as a “cool dad.”

Or maybe, I’ll just stick with Shabooty.com: Howard Stern, HipHop, & Booty.

Btw, in my dream last night, Barack Obama was my math teacher. He stopped back from his trip, for exam week to do the math exam, ‘cept like it was “exam time,” so you know you have to be all sullen and quiet. So, I couldn’t really give him a “HOOTYHOO”

and give him a fist bump. :(
A shame, I know.

Anyways - check out Nas on the Colbert Report:

The Colbert Report and Nas discuss the racism on Fox News and Bill O’Reilly. Nas talks about his protest against Fox News and performs his song “Sly Fox.”

Colbert always comes off sorta hacky, but o’ well, so does Nas.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, hiphop, music, tv, video Comments(0) July 25, 2008

Real World Hollywood Reunion = A Times Square Unbeweavable Borefest

The Real World Hollywood Reunion was a bore-fest. Surprisingly boring basically –the Tila2 reunion was way more entertaining. I dunno who that British host was, but she sucked (thou better than the Tila2 reunion’s host). The only thing that sucked worse, was that Carlos guy down in Times Square that they kept throwing to. If they wanted to get a fruity looking Mexican fruit to be a correspondent, they coulda got Trent. At least he has a personality.
Anyways… and the most interesting part of the reunion? Apparently the ’sistas’ on the show did turn hollywood… and by that I mean they straightened their HURRE (hair). Here are some shots below. The dumb fuc*ing host coulda asked em about their new looks, no? What, am I the crazy one?

“It’s just my personality, I like to have fun –usually I’m just really happy,” “Wahhhh, I kissed another guy when I have a boyfriend, and now I straightened my hair, wahhh” — Brittani

Brianna - Before Pic

Brianna - After Pic

Brianna - After Pic

Brittani - Before Pic

Brittini - After Pic

Brittani - After Pic

Brianna & Brittini

Janelle - Before Pic

Janelle - After Pic

Janelle - After Pic (left)

Yesss, you’re seeing correct, Janelle redid her fuc*ing hair too, right? God, that’s annoying.

Jump the shark x 3 meters.

Anyways, in actuality, the last 2 segments are the only worthy ones. A) When Janelle goes on and confronts the supreme asshole Will, breaking his balls, and B) the un-aired never shown before footage package. The funny part also is that in the version that aired on TV, The “Tres” Amigos (Will, Nick and Dave) Plugged their upcoming gigs…as in a tour of bars across the country, Will plugged the cd he’s working on, and Brianna plugged her forthcoming album as well. And the version on the interwebs on MTV.com, MTV basically ripped all of the plugging out of the web-feed, lol. That’s sorta funny. I guess they’re shoving the minute hand on to the 15, asap.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, humor, los angeles, real world, shabooty exclusive, show, tv Comments(5) July 17, 2008

Shit Pond

THIS IS THE SHIT POND ON KANDAHAR. JOE AND I TOOK A LITTLE STROLL ONE DAY JUST TO SEE WHAT ALL THE EXCITEMENT WAS ABOUT. SEE FOR YOURSELF, IT’S A HELL OF AN INTERESTING EXPERIENCE WHAT WE FOUND AT THE SHIT POND ON KANDAHAR IN AUGUST OF 2003.

Artie told a story about the Burger King over in Kandahar that burned down. He said he was looking forward to it but the place burned down the week before. It was also near the camp that’s right near the shit pond. Artie said that there’s a Starbucks rip-off place over there too. He said that was called Three Bean. He said that the troops walk around with an M16 and a Caramel Macchiato.

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Permalink Posted in: artie lange, comedy, howard stern, sirius, video, word of the day, youtube Comments(0) July 15, 2008

Miss USA Falling In Miss Universe 2008 (Video)

miss usa universe 2008 falling on stage

international feed

and the winner is:
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Permalink Posted in: chick, comedy, humor, model, snatch, video, youtube Comments(2) July 13, 2008

Artie Lange In Afghanistan Pics

Artie Lange visiting the troops in Afghanistan

A solider’s first hand account of meeting Artie Lange and the gang:

Surely on their way home after an exhausting trip over here to Afghanistan, Artie, Gary, Jim Folerntine, Nick Depallo, and Dave Atell made a great impression here where I am stationed. After almost not making it due to a flight delay the boys came by at 1830hrs to have dinner and a meet and greet. They came rolling in SUV’s lead by an Up armored HUMMVW. They stepped out and looked around for direction to the next place. They were looking tired but determined as they introduced themselves to the boys and me who were standing outside anticipating their arrival. We motioned them into the chow tent for a dinner with the boys. They sat down and graciously shook hands and spoke to a few Soldiers as they tried to eat their meals. They never came off as bothering them during dinner and Artie repeatedly returned apologies of bothering him by saying “you guys are why we are here, no problem”. Gary sat and motioned my 1SG over when I pointed out “BaBa Booey“, Gary ery happily introduced himself and said hi. I sat with Dave Atell at first trying not to feel rude while the guys were eating. I do not like coming off as a dazed and confused, star struck fan. He was very accomadating as we spoke some politics and Afghan culture while he ate. I then turned around and sat next to Jim on my right and Artie on my left. Nick and Gary were seated at the inside of the table respectively. I do not follow anybody with crazy enthusiasm. I own a Sirius and I am familiar with Artie’s story and I have heard the names of all the comedians but I do not claim to be their biggest fan and I certainly do not own all their collections. I have five kids and although i think these guys are great, i am not a collector of their products. Embarrassingly, I introduced most of the table by memory and had to read Jim’s name tag to remember his name. It was a tad bit uncomfortable but Jim was a gracious guest and brushed it off. I sat and spoke with Artie and Jim for about 15-20 minutes and it was great. We talked about Artie’s new book, Entourage, and a few details about Jim Norton that I will not reveal. (I just happened to get his book by mail that day). I learned to really enjoy Jim’s company, he is a down to earth, no bullshit guy who was easy to talk too. Artie, of course was the same. Honestly, there was no uncomfortable silences between the three of us and I was very happy about that…

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More pics here

hat tip: howardshrine

Permalink Posted in: artie lange, comedy, concert, howard stern, sirius Comments(0) July 12, 2008

Throw In The Towel, Over My Head Please…

Here is the hilarity of DC/MD/VA (DMV), particularly Northern VA, from last night. By hilarity I mean you better find these things hilarious or you’ll be running your head into a wall. So I walk into a buffalo wings bar and within seconds, my senses are assaulted by:

• a ton of fat chicks
• androgynous dyke fatties
• the only non-fat chicks there are “au pairs” (aka fobs)
• the only thing keeping me there is this ecstasied-up, corny white goofy guy, hilariously dancing horribly… I def didn’t need to see his ‘ballbag’ indentations -in which he was constantly showing off, pulling his shorts tight to his body. He was raping any chick that dared enter his “personal bubble’ which was quite impersonal…and extended the dance floor to anyone sitting down near by. A dance with him ended with a boob groping. He was dancing barefoot and every 5 seconds he’d do a fuckin somersault on the dance floor (well nevermind, he just basically rolled around on the floor). Worst of all this was probably a 35 year old guy and he had a giant beer gut. Yet, he was charming. Don’t ask.
• The damn DJ was in an ARM-SLING… I guess he doesn’t “mix’ or “scratch”.
• The broad singing Alanis Morissette on Karaoke, looks like she ATE Alanis, and Alanis was just a jagged little pill going down her throat.
• Herndon, [VA]= HATING EVERY RANDOM NAUSEATING DOUCHEY OBNOXIOUS NUMBNUT!

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Permalink Posted in: anecdote, chick, clubs, comedy, dc, food, humor, nightlife, reviews, shabooty, shabooty exclusive, ventilation Comments(0) July 3, 2008

My Mind Is On Carmen Sandiego’s G550 Jet. I’ve Lost It, And Waldo Is Being A Douche On His Two-Way Pager.

Carmen Sandiego - I’m all over the place.

Just some random thoughts going on… I missed the Tila 2 finale last night? Did I? Well, I am sure it was lame. I know way hotter Vietnamese chicks in Texas than her. She’s a fidget anyway.

So, did you hear about the new iPhone coming out on July 11th? Really cheap: $199 and $299 respectively… If you look under the hood though and by hood I mean AT&T’s pricing plan on the service side, that same unlimited data goes from 20$ to 30$ a month and those free 200 txt messages, that’s now five dollars. Want the 1500 txt message package? That goes from 10$ to 15$ a month. So for me, that would total an additional 15$ a month or… quick math $145. er, fuck I can’t add: 180. Either way that blows, $igh.

What’s up with milfs these days, esp the “newly” divorced ones. Not only will they ask you what knd of car you drive, but’ll if you happen to be in your friends car, they’ll ask what car your friend’s driving too…wtf.
Way to take the LF out of milf, okay nm, that’s still in effect despite the golddiggery.
Be a mother, get rid of the damn eyebrow-piercing-ring. Why attract attention to your eyes, where crows feet lay, right? You’re not 18 anymore. And you’re 30 going on 40.

I hope Artie Lange is okay in Iraq, where he is performing this week on the USO Show tour.

Amy Whinehouse called Kanye West a cunt. How great is that?

Did you know the next Survivor is being filmed right now in Africa?

Fu*k I hate spam like this, New message: “why is your myspace photo here on this site.. laquinka . com
”
I dunno, let me rush on over to la-quin-ka.com real quick and see.

There has been much squabble over “shitty parts of NYC to hang out”. By squabble I just mean different sources of opinion saying similar things. And from respectable sources. Apparently El-P & Alaska of Hangar18 both hate Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. I thought that was the hip-artsy-fartsy cool part of town. Shows you how much I know. But I still rep BKNY. Cue…

El-P:

editor’s note: Williamsburg - im not talking about williamsburg. williamsburg is the only place in brooklyn that sucks harder than manhattan as a rule no matter what the circumstance.

Alaska:

Williamsburg – I don’t know a single person that likes that pisshole yet people are always going there, hey someone is spinning some shitty MIA at a loft party, or let’s go to this shitty as boutique my friends dad bought, they have like one sneaker, four pairs of jeans and a coffee table book. People dress like the tourists in Times Square and have shitty mustaches it might as well be Milwaukee, sorry Milwaukeeans I didn’t mean to insult you because although you guys dress like that you do shower and aren’t a bunch of pretentious pricks who base their whole personality off what pitchfork.com thinks and whichever t-shirt is recommended in the latest issue of Vice.

Pwned!

Word on the street is to find Waldo El-P Sandiego, ya just gotta go to the lower east side of Manhatty, or just let him tell you where he hangs out.

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Permalink Posted in: apple, artie lange, brooklyn, ccwm, celebs, comedy, defjux, el-p, hiphop, howard stern, humor, iphone, music, myspace, nightlife, odds and ends, quotes, reviews, shabooty, ventilation Comments(0) July 2, 2008

Queens Of The Stone Age Concert Shoe Incident, Josh Homme Goes Mental @ Norwegian Wood (Videos)

They performed on Norwegian Wood. And some dude threw something at him. And the whole crowd beat the shit out of the dude who threw the shit, then the guy was thrown over the fence, and homme said “I’m sick but not sick enough to buttfuck you!”

…as heard on stern.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, concert, howard stern, music, video, youtube Comments(0) June 29, 2008

This Is The Most Hilarious Subliminal Advertising I’ve Ever Seen

This Is The Most Hilarious Subliminal Advertising I’ve Ever Seen (Maybe Mainly Because of the Product And My Sick Sense Of Humor). Watch Very Carefully At The End Of This Video.

They say in a message or advertisement, the viewer remembers the beginning, forgets the middle, and remembers the end of the message. So watch this video … you remember in Fight Club, they spliced in those stills of ‘penis’? This so sort of like that. Cept less cute, and less Chuck-P-rific.

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heheeeeeh…ROLF at the Vaseline thing…that is too hilarious…that subliminal advertising shit!

Similar product placement occurs here at [ 0:42 and 1:10 ] NSFW AUDIO!

Robin Quivers Dad, by Ham Hands
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Permalink Posted in: comedy, music, odds and ends, ventilation, video Comments(2) June 26, 2008

RIP George Carlin

George Carlin - Religion is bullshit.

George Carlin May 12 1937 - June 22 2008

Thank you George, you will be missed by many.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters. Read rest>>

RIP MAN!!! We’ll miss ya…one of the ONLY artists/ FEW comics that still maintained their edge and FUNNINESS even in their older age. Most of ‘em jump the shark, but not George.

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