Want To Win A Date With Byata? You Shmoe!

The only kunt muscle on Vh1’s laughable, Miss cRap Supreme worthy of any recognition (aside from recognizing the talentless Khia as a fat heffer), is the Russian Byata chick from Brooklyn. She has sass, a lil bit of ass, and some talent. And, apparently [she] was the 2nd runner up on the show.

So, after using one’s 15 minutes of fame on this cruddy vh1 series, what is a female rapper left to do?

How about charging fans 20$ bucks for a raffle ticket, so that maybe they’ll win the opportunity to go out on a date with Byata, (which she’ll be recording for her myspace page). Sheesh, way to perpetuate the Russian Bride (or date in this case) stereotype. Why don’t I buy Byata fake tits too while I’m at it… buying her $20 raffle tickets. Anyways, here is the official press release (and what an annoying all caps one at that it is):

BEFORE YOU READ THIS I MUST SAY THAT IN NO WAY IS THIS A SCAM OR AM I TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY FANS…

MUSIC AND ENTERTAINMENT IS HOW I EAT…THIS IS MY JOB, MY LIFE, MY FUTURE, AND ALL I HAVE!!!

I PROVIDE A SERVICE FOR MY TRUE FANS…FANS THAT WANT TO SUPPORT MY ARTS.

AND FOR THOSE WHO DONT WANT TO SUPPORT THEN YOU CAN BYPASS THIS BULLETIN CUZ I DONT NEED ANYBODY KNOCKIN MY HUSSLE…

I DONT KNOCK YOURS!

TO ALL MY LADIES & GENTLEMEN…

WANNA CHANCE TO WIN A NIGHT OUT IN “YOUR” TOWN WITH BYATA???

SEND $20 CHECK OR MONEY ORDER TO:

BYATA INC.
PO BOX 46570
LOS ANGELES, CA 90046

ALSO ENCLOSE A NOTE WITH YOUR NAME, EMAIL, ADDRESS AND PHONE #…

ONCE THE PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECEIVED I WILL SEND YOU A GOODY BAG FULL OF BYATA MERCHANDISE…ALONG WITH A RAFFLE TICKET…

HOLD ON TO YOUR RAFFLE TICKET LADIES & GENTS CAUSE IN OCTOBER THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED…

AND ONCE THAT HAPPENS…BYATA WILL BE FLYING OUT TO YOUR HOMETOWN TO SPEND AN EVENING WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU’D LIKE TO BRING THEM!

THERE WILL BE A CAMERA TAPING THE “DATE” AND IT WILL BE POSTED ON BYATA’S MYSPACE PAGE AS WELL AS YOUTUBE…

OH YE…THE WINNER ALSO RECIEVES A TOP SPOT ON BYATA’S MYSPACE FRIEND LIST FOR A MONTH!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!PEACE,
BYATA
WWW.BYATA.COM

I don’t think I am officially knocking the hustle am I? More so just goofing on it. I will say and have said in the past, Byata was the only good thing to come out of that show (plus, I think she’s cute). I love that chick’s intestinal fortitude. It’s a major turn on… you know, in a russian bride turned rapper kinda way.

P.s. Oh, and I’m not saying Byata can’t beat me up. That chick is swole.

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Weekend Suicide Girls

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Mark Ronson sounds so fruity, but the dude can produce, plus his sister is banging Lindsay Lohan:

Nas ft. Busta Rhymes - Fried Chicken

Oh, and don’t try googling this song, cause yes an advertisement for KFC -WILL come up:

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Brittany Rae of MTV’s Tila Tequila Dating Show, A Shot At Love 2, Comes To The Defense Of Kristy

brittany rae
15 minutes of dykey fame never looked so good.

I can only explain this in a run-on sentence, because that’s the only way I can re-count lesbian reality tv bullshit, w/o my head exploding.
So it goes, Tila eliminates/dumps Brittany, and Bo, picks Kristy, Kristy dumps Tila on her own show, Tila flames Kristy on her myspace blog, then again in-person on the reunion show, goes apeshit on Kristy, Kristy eventually also storms off stage saying, “you want to know why? [i didn't want your love], cause you’re a BITCH”… this then led to an interwebs flame war between TIla’s fans and Kristy. And well, this below is a myspace blog in which Brittany comes to the defense of Kristy. Sounds like the story line for the L-Word, eh? I can see the kraft services table with tunafish already.

i know what it feels like to have to take a step back and give someone room because they are unsure, because when u CARE about someone, u wanna make them as comfortable as u can, and if youre MATURE u know that forcing someone into a relationship when theyre not ready is only gonna hurt you both in the end! so u need to either wait it out, or move on. she has been nothing but misunderstanding and mean, posting hate blogs about kristy acting like shes 12 using the internet to start shit. and that immature kinda bullshit COMPLETELY TURNS ME OFF.

FULL READ

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I agree. Tila’s a cunt, and shouldn’t have a career outside of the pho industry.

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Miss USA Falling In Miss Universe 2008 (Video)

miss usa universe 2008 falling on stage

international feed

and the winner is:
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Cindy Margolis In July 2008 Issue Of Playboy (Pics)

NSFW Milftastic Pics Of Cindy Margolis AFTER THE BREAK…Double A (Awesome Angelo) Can’t Handle This CougarMilf!

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Throw In The Towel, Over My Head Please…

fat ass

Here is the hilarity of DC/MD/VA (DMV), particularly Northern VA, from last night. By hilarity I mean you better find these things hilarious or you’ll be running your head into a wall. So I walk into a buffalo wings bar and within seconds, my senses are assaulted by:

a ton of fat chicks
androgynous dyke fatties
the only non-fat chicks there are “au pairs” (aka fobs)
the only thing keeping me there is this ecstasied-up, corny white goofy guy, hilariously dancing horribly… I def didn’t need to see his ‘ballbag’ indentations -in which he was constantly showing off, pulling his shorts tight to his body. He was raping any chick that dared enter his “personal bubble’ which was quite impersonal…and extended the dance floor to anyone sitting down near by. A dance with him ended with a boob groping. He was dancing barefoot and every 5 seconds he’d do a fuckin somersault on the dance floor (well nevermind, he just basically rolled around on the floor). Worst of all this was probably a 35 year old guy and he had a giant beer gut. Yet, he was charming. Don’t ask.
The damn DJ was in an ARM-SLING… I guess he doesn’t “mix’ or “scratch”.
The broad singing Alanis Morissette on Karaoke, looks like she ATE Alanis, and Alanis was just a jagged little pill going down her throat.
Herndon, [VA]= HATING EVERY RANDOM NAUSEATING DOUCHEY OBNOXIOUS NUMBNUT!

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Suicide Girls - Two For Tuesday (Updated)

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Shay Johnson Aka Buckeey Of Flavor Of Love 2 Sex Tape

buckeey sex tape
Download here (video: NSFW)

I barely even remember this heffer from Flavor of love 2, Flav must have eliminated her ass early on…(actually I realized I didn’t watch season 2 that closely)… Well, either way, she reaches minute 16 on her 15minutes of fame with this sex tape that has surfaced. She has one ashy asshole.

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hat tip: taint

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