Steven Tyler on HOWARD STERN: Talks about problems w/ Aerosmith, American Idol & Madonna!

Steven Tyler on HOWARD STERN: Talks about problems w/ Aerosmith, American Idol & Madonna!

I love when Howard Stern does reverent interviews that don’t involve Teen Moms! Random aside, I met Mia Tyler once at a concert after-party at a hotel bar. She was this chubby tatted up chick. I don’t really have any story about that night though, other than I got this underage intern ONE drink***, and then because of it, I lost my radio station internship even before it started. Lol. And now, terrestrial radio is irrelevant. That’s what they get! Spineless pricks!

***That’s what happens when you’re a nice guy and you have a hard time telling people no. Sigh.

Steven Tyler tells Howard how his drug problems affected Aerosmith; what he really thought about judging on American Idol and how he would love to have sex with Madonna.

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5 Observations at the DC HingeApp Memorial Day Party (Shabooty Exclusive)


5 Observations at the DC HingeApp Memorial Day Party (Shabooty Exclusive)

This past weekend I went a Memorial Day party thrown by the fine folks at @HINGEAPP (It’s a dating app). Here are some of my keen and hopefully comedic observations. By the way, I am an independent entity, so these are solely my expressed opinions, and no one else’s.

1) DC women LOVE TO EAT — there was no centralized food station, so DC fat chicks were running around like a chicken with its head cut-off trying to find where the food was. (They were being served as horderves by servers).

2) DC women LOVE FREE SHIT — even if it’s not meant for them. At the end of the night, there were gift bags for VIP folks. Half of the women there were turned down to get a bag ’cause they weren’t VIP, and the other half basically stole one, when no one was looking.

3) DC women have no problem being RUDE — what is the cliche definition of being rude? Maybe perhaps talking sh*t to one’s face… at one point this girl I was talking to says to me, “so can you walk away so we can talk about you?” And I was like, “uhh no, you walk away!” I guess I will refrain from calling said person a dumb c*nt on my blog, but having a personality worth a rat’s ass, was not this chick’s particular forte.
P.s. Next time can the VIPs like yours truly have Hologram LANYARDS, so we don’t get disrespected like this? HAHAH.

4) The permanently present investor – Apparently you can’t go to a shin-dig like this without at least one “investor” in the house. I sort of made a joke to one of the Hinge employees, and I said, “so you guys got Silicon Valley investors?” And the Hinge guy goes, “yep, you see that guy over there in a suit, he’s one of the big money players.” This isn’t me hating, I suppose if I invested money in a start-up and they were throwing an open bar party, I’d at least want to get that part of my investment back, in the form of a liquid dinner!

5) The two Founders are actually really good guys  I think I only made one of them, roll their eyes twice! Go me. Assuming those guys have a good sense of humor (they seemed to), hopefully you’ll see me at the next party, as well!

Bonus) If you’re in the DMV you can get app here. I heard they’re expanding to new cities very soon like next week, but right now it’s centralized to Washington DC, only. And you have to have Facebook to use it.
Pro-tip: don’t name your Facebook account: “Shabooty Bieber,” ’cause women won’t add you back. #FML

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Well, Well, Well, One of My College Roommates’ Companies is Now Advertising on the Howard Stern Show [Anecdote]


Well, Well, Well, One of My College Roommates’ Companies is Now Advertising on the Howard Stern Show [Anecdote]

I’d say I am the most effective and interesting writer, when I am bashing someone over the head. This is not that. It’s just a real life anecdote. Plus my two-cents.

Today, on the Howard Stern Show, a company started advertising on the SIRIUSXM airwaves, called SquareSpace. I lived one year in college with the founder. A nice guy. He is the one that introduced me to Patron Tequila before it was all trendy. I will give him that much.

His company, SquareSpace is a blogging platform. The business model is, you can set up a free account, and then when you wanna take your blog to the next level (added features, a domain, etc), you start paying a monthly fee.

At one point, I mustered up the balls and went up to Anthony, and I said, “Hey, you know I am a blogger and I do a pop-culture blog, and it’s admittedly off-color, but how ’bout I do a blog on SquareSpace and call it NSFW.” A Not-Safe-For-Work blog. Again, admittedly that’s probably not a gold mine in a start-up founder’s eyes. But here’s why it is and why it’s a shame my inquiry fell upon deaf ears:

As a blogging platform, the biggest way to attract new customers in my opinion is to become the de facto standard. If I like Home Improvement, DIY blogs, for example, and all of my favorite bloggers use WordPress, when I eventually start up my own blog, I am going to want to emulate my favorites, and USE WORDPRESS. The way for a blogging platform to explode is to have the taste-makers, use your product. As a company like SquareSpace, you want every prominent blogger using your platform. It raises awareness of the brand, and the adoption rate, obviously. You want the content makers, exclusively making content on your company’s product. So, instead of spending all of the money advertising on podcasts and shit, what SquareSpace needs to be doing is paying prominent bloggers to leave WordPress and TypePad, and go to SquareSpace. That will sell shedloads of blogging solutions. This is why WordPress offers a VIP (unlimited bandwidth package) to it’s power-users. WordPress WANTS the heavy-hitters to continue using their product. That is why WordPress also recently released the free Jetpack plugin, which gives many features that you normally only see in a pay-product. So, they’re currently killing da game.

Anyways, the point of this? WordPress and Patron are king. Because I use ‘em. Also, the last time I checked, Howard Stern is “Not Safe For Work,” just saying… but hey, at least now you’re back on the $habooty radar, congrats. ;)

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Crazy White Guy Yelling In Radio Shack (VIDEO)

Crazy White Guy Yelling In Radio Shack (VIDEO)

I actually side with the crazy white guy yelling. Last year, I went to Sprint and they sold me a mophie iphone case and when I got back to work I opened it and it had been used with scratches on it. I went back and they thought I was bullshitting/swindeling them by bringing back a used mophie case. I almost spazzed out like this guy…I was SO HEATED. They straight treated me like an ASSHOLE. So f*ck Sprint! And screw mophie too, cause their cases are flimsy.

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Dear Regina Sorina, You #Ethered Me (A LOCAL CHICK JUST WENT IN ON ME, BUT HERE’S MY SHABOOTY REBUTTAL)!


Dear Regina Sorina, You #Ethered Me (A LOCAL CHICK JUST WENT IN ON ME, BUT HERE’S MY SHABOOTY REBUTTAL)!

Yesterday, I posted about the chick that worked at Hooters that got murdered. Since my post, white people (and in this case, a Russian person) have been displacing their anger towards me, instead of on the KILLER!

None of that is blog-worthy however, but this message right here DESERVES A RESPONSE. It was obvious in my post I didn’t know the girl, so if anything I said (I honestly didn’t say much other than she was in fact cute, and it was a shame she got killed). Then, I made a generalization that a lot of cute chicks, don’t really have the sense, god gave geese. Which is a joke. It’s more of an inside joke, and an homage to my favorite blogger, Byron Crawford. Regular readers know what’s up.
Anyways, then comes along this Russian chick Regina Sorina, that WENT IN ON ME! She is a friend of a friend. I had met her once, not by choice. She just happened to be at the sports bar we were at. Here’s her message, and here is my RESPONSE below it! Note: if the shit she talked about me was true, I probably wouldn’t be highlighting it in it’s own post, here.

(more…)


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Iron Man 3 — Official Trailer Marvel | HD (Video)

Iron Man 3 — Official Trailer Marvel | HD (Video)

They were filming parts of this movie last year in Raleigh, NC of all places (at a time I was there for a weekend). My friend was lying to internet hoes saying we were part of the production, in order to get into their pants. He never did get any “strange” but they def. bought his bullshit hook, line and sinker.

Moral of the story: you don’t have to be the genius of Stan Lee to realize that most (not all) broads are pre-programmed to be dumb-dumbs. Get with the program honey… #Tangent.

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White Girl Burns Off Her Hair During Youtube Beauty Hair Tutorial #WhiteGirlProbs


White Girl Burns Off Her Hair During Youtube Beauty Hair Tutorial #WhiteGirlProbs

I would normally make fun of the idea of “beauty tutorials” on youtube (they’re hella popular), but the fact is there are also hella ugly chicks out there. So, maybe it’s a good thing. For some of the reasons, a lot (50%?) of the chicks that ef me (thinking back), are those type of chicks that never bother wearing makeup. Which is silly. Esp. if you have an average to butter face. Why not dress that mug up? I understand some guys like that “natural” look. Not this guy here. I like a chick w/ caked on make up. And the worst, is when you’re dating a cougar and you have to wake up with her in the morning w/o her makeup on. OFFAH. You wanna head for the hills. But I digress.

It’s funny, when my sister visits from NYC, she goes, got damn, how is it that DC chicks are heavy set and also have the fashion style of 10 years ago? (Okay, she only said the latter part, the heavy set part is me talking). The point is, most chicks are BUTT HURT looking. That’s why those 1%-ers of hot chicks are so warped in the head. And it’s not even cause they’re OH SOOO HOT, it’s cause every other chick is OHH SOO FUGLY. They say it’s a man’s world. I say yeah, it’s a man’s world, with zero standards. If you’re a guy willing to get with just anything, it sort of is your world. Ha.

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Atlanta Ratchet Police Aka Kick Ass Mall Cop Deals With Hood Ninjas On A Rainy Day (Video)


Atlanta Ratchet Police Aka Kick Ass Mall Cop Deals With Hood Ninjas On A Rainy Day (Video)

Having a Happy Black History Month?

On a totally different note, I was watching CATFISH last night for the first time. It was amusing. That show made me feel good about myself.

The girl was a fat slob, and the guy was an unemployed loser. It made me feel like a winner in comparison. At the end of the day, I find all of that information simply amusing, ’cause the local chicks I deal with on a semi-regular basis are just total shitheads, that have no idea of what I bring to the table, and not to mention, what I bring under the table (hint: my big fat schlong*). Joke. Well, no joke is said in jest.

Anyways, I have no idea how that related to this mall cop video, but there was a connection somewhere. Oh yeah, the people in this video except the security guard have no jobs, and are losers, and so was the dude on Catfish. Yet, local bitches, treat me as if they were the mall cop in this video, and I’m some shithead. Let’s put it this way, ladies. I don’t have fuck-you money, but out of the 800+ people I follow on twitter, I’m pretty sure I’m one of the only folks that is in walking distance to a LOUISV/Tiffany’s/Chanel, etc. Not saying I can afford to shop there, I am saying I can afford to walk there. HAHAH. Leme show ‘em how to do this, son!

*I think it was that fat schlong joke that chicks can’t handle.

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I Had Some Crazy Dreams Last Night… One w/ a Talking Moose (Dream Analysis Recap)

homer asleep dreaming
I Had Some Crazy Dreams Last Night… One w/ a Talking Moose (Dream Analysis Recap)

I don’t remember much of the dream other than there was a moose in the road. But it was sort of f*cking with the drivers as in it could talk. It was one minute in the middle of the road, then the next minute on the side of the road, but a huge MOOSE and it was talking to passengers as they drove by. Not so much as taunting them though. Perhaps this dream analysis better explains the meaning:
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Then, I just remember walking in rain and this statement popped into my head:

Screenshot_1_29_13_10_53_PM

The saying was either: “Sometimes all that matters in life, are the things that have been neglected.” or it was, “Sometimes all that matters in life, are the things YOU have neglected.”

Meaning… when things go neglected for so long they might be at the bottom of the importance heap, but in a moments instance, those neglected things become the most important things in your life. (For example a health scare).

You can draw your own meanings from this all, I know I did. Esp. the moose — I know an elder around me that had a recent health scare but is doing better now.

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