@ShayMariaa – Last Chance on Dry Land

@ShayMariaa – Last Chance on Dry Land

You know what her best physical feature is?

That she knows moi… And by moi I mean she knows I love those CANS! Lolz.

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Permalink Posted in: chick, comedy, model, video November 21, 2011

QUOTED: Yours Truly on TBD.com! @kellyanncollins

QUOTED: Yours Truly on TBD.com! @kellyanncollins 

Haha, over the weekend I was hanging with Kelly Ann Collins (Glittarazzi.com) as she made the clubbing rounds, around DC, and they had a reporter chick with them. And while a reporter isn’t typical “authority,” let’s just say I’ve been known to make an ass out of myself around authority. Lol.

Long story short, here is the full article (link at the bottom). But if you want to fast forward to the part about me and my silly quote, it’s here. Actually, the quote wasn’t even that silly, it was being honest. Though the same way as “with great power comes great responsibility,” with great honesty comes great douchieness (on my part).

And I quote:

This is the other half of being Glittarazzi: drinks and cocktail dresses with a rotating cast of DJs, bloggers, socialites, and party people. On Saturday night, the girls are out at Lima, to support a DJ visiting from Ohio. Collins and Lewis sip drinks with the DJ’s manager and a blogger named Shabooty who introduces himself as the next Howard Stern.

By the way, just for the record, I don’t go around introducing myself as the NEXT Howard Stern because, I’ve ALREADY ARRIVED BITCHES!!! I’m joking…

If they ever did an article on yours truly, it’d have to be called, “I swear I’m not a douche. I only play one on the internets.”

The girls roll out of Lima around 11:30 and roll up to Tattoo Bar next door. The next Howard Stern follows. Security immediately opens the velvet rope for them after a round of cheek kisses.

I love how the reporter goes on to say how Josephines was “surreal.” That’s sort of a stretch. Now as far as the following quote, that’s so not what I meant. She should have written, “the next Howard Stern, Shabooty, was overwhelmed by the douchiness, that he wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for people knowing people, to potentially water down the ‘douche levels.’” Lol.

And just for the record, it WASN’T DOUCHEY there at all, but that’s because I know Kelly, and that was my whole point!

Josephine is surreal, a labyrinth of rooms blasting house music and served by waitresses wearing nothing on their bottoms but small underwear. Even the next Howard Stern seems overwhelmed. “I would put this on the record,” he says. “I would never come here unless I knew people who knew people, if you know what I mean.”

Though she doesn’t look it, Collins is at least a decade older than most of the people bopping around Josephine at midnight. She’s gone out the last three nights and worked the last three days. Asked if it feels like work or fun, she says it depends on the night.

She pauses. “Actually,” she says over the thumping music, “it’s work.”

Just for the record, hanging out with me is NOT work! And she’s def. not “a decade older than most people at the club.” That makes her sound like the crypt keeper. <3

P.S. Here’s a funny aside. If TBD.com is crawled into Google News Alerts, Howard Stern WILL see this article, because he is alerted every time his name is mentioned in a news article. Roffle.

It’s not easy being Glittarazzi [TBD.com] [FULL ARTICLE]

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Permalink Posted in: clubs, comedy, dc, nightlife, shabooty, shabooty exclusive November 21, 2011

The Legend of #Zelda Skyward Sword (Exclusive Pix) + (Initial Impressions) #Wii

The Legend of #Zelda Skyward Sword (Exclusive Pix) + (Initial Impressions) #Wii

I’ve already put in 5 hours into the new Zelda game. I will admit it starts off kind of slow, but then it picks up. I will also admit that I am currently stuck at one part, but that’s hopefully only because after 5 hours, my brain stopped working in terms of figuring out the game’s puzzles. The starting of the game however, reminded me a little bit of The Secret of Monkey Island. It was sorta annoying to go through the puzzles to find your (spoiler) lost ‘bird.’

Here are screencaps I took of the game and some reviews from metacritic…

But yeah, the game rocks, and the wii motion plus controls for sword swipes = crazy good and accurate.

I read it takes 30+ hours to complete the game, but I am hoping it’s way more than that. This immersive game is a true jewel to play. It took long enough to get here, that’s for sure!

Pix continued below…

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Permalink Posted in: nintendo, shabooty exclusive, wii November 21, 2011

The #1 Most Trending Video on Youtube: ‘Police Pepper Spray Peaceful UC Davis Students’ #WTF

The #1 Most Trending Video on Youtube: Police Pepper Spray Peaceful UC Davis Students #WTF

Damn… that was HAM. Hitler as a mother-effer. Prolly some junior ass University Police, that can’t get a real police job, fighting real crime.

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Permalink Posted in: tv, video November 20, 2011

And Your #MomentOfZEN: 99% + TOPLESS CHICKS + 41 Degrees Outside = 69%? #OWS

And Your #MomentOfZEN: 99% + TOPLESS CHICKS + 41 Degrees Outside = 69%? #OWS

Damn, those chicks could occupy #MyShlong… aka “Zucchini Park.” 

ROFFLE!

That’s gonna be my new pick-up line …I’m gonna tell chicks’ my lap is Zucchini Park, and ask them if they wanna Occupy it.

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Permalink Posted in: chick, nyc November 18, 2011

#Zelda Medley (Violinist Chick Dressed as Link Goes Ham)

#Zelda Medley (Violinist Chick Dressed as Link Goes Ham)

I love [The Legend of] Zelda as much as the next nerd, but uhh, this chick dressed up as Link’s body gyrations were a little douchey. Not saying the chick’s not hot, though. Lisa G could learn a thing or two from her.

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Permalink Posted in: music, nintendo, video, wii November 18, 2011

Howard Stern Celebrity Superfan Roundtable 11-17-11: @1nataliemaines @jeffprobst @howiemmandel @davidarquette @christabmiller

Howard Stern Celebrity Superfan Roundtable 11-17-11: @1nataliemaines @jeffprobst @howiemmandel @davidarquette @christabmiller Photo via: @sternshow

And of course Mike Judge and Tony Hawk.

And you can say I have some weird warped ego, but I actually deem myself worthy of being on such a panel. Haha. #Swag. Hey, you gotta fake it, til ya make it, right?

Rest below…

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Permalink Posted in: celebs, comedy, howard stern, los angeles, show, sirius, video November 18, 2011

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Goes on a CUNTY Tirade Against Bill Maher To His Face For Joke He Made About Her [The View]

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Goes on a CUNTY Tirade Against Bill Maher To His Face For Joke He Made About Her [The View]

Wow… he handled that well. I dunno how I’d handle Elisabeth Hasselbeck bitching me out on live tv. That’d have me uber SALTY.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, show, tv, video November 18, 2011

No He Didnt: Anchorman Lowkey Sh*ts On His Co-worker’s Weave!

No He Didnt: Anchorman Lowkey Sh*ts On His Co-worker’s Weave!

Teh ghey guys with bald heads can get away with saying some shit like that.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, tv, video November 18, 2011