Doom Marine Parenting 101: This Is Why I Told Master Chief To Pull Out [||]

Doom Marine Parenting 101: This Is Why I Told Master Chief To Pull Out [||]

I’m talking about the babies’ momma! Lol. (And so he wouldn’t have kids, DUH!) And I think I just mixed up my DOOM + HALO references. Comedic fail.

I just checked the world’s most accurate encyclopedia (wikipedia) and it says: There was never a name for the DOOM marine because it’s supposed to be YOU!

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Little kid trolls CNN camera woman talking about Kim Kardashian’s wedding

Little kid trolls CNN camera woman talking about Kim Kardashian’s wedding

I read a tweet that said something along the lines of the average American wedding costs $28,000, yet somehow Kim Kardashian EARNED 17 Million for her wedding. SMDH. That’s that Illuminati shit.

And the only reason I don’t totally cop a squat [and shit] on Kim Kardashian is A) she’s friends with Jillian Barberie #shabootydynastycliq and B) she replied to me on Twitter once: Fu*k a 401K, When You Got Kim Kardashian Retweetin’ Ya! [Shabooty.com] a/k/a the sole highlight of my life. Laffle. #sarcasmsandwichartist

Bonus video after the break from eonline (Inside Kim Kardashian’s Wedding):

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Underage Hoe Allegedly Bangs Lil Wayne and Takes To Youtube To Defend Herself!

Underage Hoe Allegedly Bangs Lil Wayne and Takes To Youtube To Defend Herself!

Again, let me just say ALLEGEDLY. And the hoe part is pure editor’s hyperbole for comedic effect.

He musta really gave it to her good, if she is now saying he’s the best rapper on this planet, evar. But I am sure she’s still a virgin.

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Children defy police in Washington DC, purchase lemonade at Capitol! #PoliceState #PrioritiesFail

Children defy police in Washington DC, purchase lemonade at Capitol! #PoliceState #PrioritiesFail

This is the problem with DC… not that it’s a police state or whatever, but because it’s so grenade-filled (Jersey Shore term), that dudes have nothing better to do than make viral videos and demonstrations. It’s not like there are any hot chicks walking around in DC to hollar at > selling lemonade. Lol.

AHHAHASHDJKADKJA – Nevermind what I said, I’m just goofing around. Lol at them bringing in the hulking black cop to make the first ARREST!!! Sigh.

OH MY GOD, THAT WHITE LADY COP GIVES ME THE DOUCHE CHILLS – SHE HITS THE CAMERA EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS… WHAT A C*NT!!!

By the way, this video was posted by AdamK that works for Russia Today. I’d make videos like this too, if I could convince some white chicks to get arrested for the sake of youtube gold/my personal amusement.

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Puerto Rican Thug Steals Bag Of Potato Chips From Bodega But Gets Confronted By Store Owner! @MannyPerez1

Puerto Rican Thug Steals Bag Of Potato Chips From Bodega But Gets Confronted By Store Owner! @MannyPerez1

I Have To Show This To My Man, Manny Perez. That was on some old Streets of Rage, DOUBLE DRAGON type shit. Act like you know, my video game heads.

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3 WOUNDED IN 49ERS-RAIDERS GAME VIOLENCE (VIDEO)

3 WOUNDED IN 49ERS-RAIDERS GAME VIOLENCE (VIDEO)

Who Said the NFL was the No Fun League?

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Here’s My Fantasy Football Starting Roster (2011)

Here’s My Fantasy Football Starting Roster (2011)

I don’t think I’ve ever had 3 studs from the same team on my fantasy football team before. This will bite me in the ass come my bye week, but it’s all good. Go Eages!