iPhone 5 Concept Features

iPhone 5 Concept Features

I don’t want a super thin iPhone.. It’ll break in half!

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Permalink Posted in: apple, iphone, video August 27, 2011

HOLY CRAP STEVE JOBS LOOKS EMACIATED (SHOCK PICS)

HOLY CRAP STEVE JOBS LOOKS EMACIATED (SHOCK PICS)

TMZ posted these shocking photos of Steve Jobs — taken today. He looks beyond sickly. I hope he pulls through. It looks like that guy is even helping him stand up. Anytime someone’s in a Scientology robe, that’s never a good look. Damn.

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Permalink Posted in: apple, iphone August 26, 2011

Jersey Shore Season 4 Episode 4 #Italy (Full Episode Online Video)

Jersey Shore Season 4 Episode 4 #Italy (Full Episode Online Video)

Lol at Ronnie and Sammi being back together for the length of one whole episode. Then shit hitting the fan. Like oil and water, those two kids.

Not to sound like a talking head, but it’s scary how accurate I am with some things. I’m pretty sure that’s why the TV executives that are my friends, respect me. For example, I told you last week that the Mike and Ronnie fight wasn’t actually going to be shown this week. It will be a cliff-hanger for two weeks from now (now one week from now). And that’s exactly how they edited it together. Not that you have to be Einstein to know that. When you read a book, usually the most interesting page in a chapter, is the last page of that chapter, so you keep on reading. Anyways, next week’s episode will be bananas. Cheese, eggs, and Welch’s grape, BITCHES!

Oh, and here’s the paragraph from my recap last week that I am gloating about:

Here’s what’s going to happen in next week’s episode (04). See the [above] photo. They teased the fight between Ronnie and Situation (where Sitch gets laid out and lumped up)… and that’s right where next week’s episode will “cliff-hang.” You’re going to have to wait two episodes from now to really see it unfold.

By the way, is there a new episode of JS (the fight episode) right before the VMAs this Sunday? I might have to look into that. I think I read that — then next Thursday, they’ll just replay the episode from this Sunday. Granted if we’ll even have power with the looming hurricane and all, it might be a moot point.

Video of the new episode — after the break!

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, jersey shore, show, tv, video August 26, 2011

Prank Call – Howard Stern Fan Trolls ’5.9 Earthquake Felt In Bronx, NY’ TV News Coverage

Prank Call – Howard Stern Fan Trolls ’5.9 Earthquake Felt In Bronx, NY’ TV News Coverage

That didn’t sound like Captain Janks, but that shit was funny either way.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, howard stern, tv, video August 26, 2011

Waddup Though? Introduce Yourself…

Waddup Though? Introduce Yourself…

I recently changed the comments system on my blog from the regular old (stale) wordpress comments to Facebook comments. The people who use the comments section now (read my blog) sure are an eclectic bunch.

Anyways, drop a note and say what’s up (for example compliment me). One thing I’ve noticed is …while the hater or trash talk comments [aimed at yours truly] were very few and far between, I haven’t gotten one yet on Facebook comments. There was however some uproar (and by uproar I mean 3 or 4 comments on the same post) where I called Slaine a bum-rapper. But if I have to encyclopedia-brokerapper-tanica your ass, then you’re a bum-rapper. Though yes, I have heard of La Coka Nostra, and Slaine and I have a nearly identical follower count on Twitter, coupled with the fact that I was just breaking his balls for hitting that dude after a freestyle… but that’s neither here nor there. So drop a line and say what’s good! Shout outs to my hoodrats, truckers, Howard Stern fans, and my fresh off the boat people.

I have to go, this itis is killing me.

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Permalink Posted in: facebook, shabooty, shabooty dynasty, shabooty exclusive August 26, 2011

The Lost 1984 Video: young Steve Jobs introduces the Macintosh

The Lost 1984 Video: young Steve Jobs introduces the Macintosh

That’s that beta version swag. See how come at the Apollo, black people are always bringing each other down, but Steve Jobs presents something, and white people are wilding out for him! Just saying.

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Permalink Posted in: apple, video August 25, 2011

My PISS Dream at Howard Stern’s Estate (SHABOOTY DREAM LOG RECAP)

My PISS Dream at Howard Stern’s Estate (SHABOOTY DREAM LOG RECAP)

Continued from… My Embarrassing Dave Chappelle Dream…

And don’t even get me started on my dream at Howard Stern’s Estate.

In my dream, my sister was somehow friends with Beth-O Stern, Howard’s wife. We were basically at Howard Stern’s Hamptons house, so it was myself, my sister and Beth-O. But Howard Stern wasn’t home at the time. He was supposed to get there a little later.

I had to go to the bathroom, and so I walk through the house and find a bathroom, but I notice it’s Howard’s personal bathroom with one of those $5,000 Japanese toilets that shoot water up your ass. I knew Howard would be pissed if anyone used that toilet, so out of respect I didn’t use that bathroom. Instead, I left the house to be polite, to find a public restroom near by.

I find a building which was a public restroom. It was poorly lit. Sort of like the kind you might find on a boardwalk/beach. I walk into the building, barely able to hold my piss, but the walls were empty, except for ONE urinal, which was being used. I had to pee like a Russian racehorse, so I start yelling at people to tell me where the hell the other urinal in the place was. I had to go bad, and I was adamant there had to be another urinal! I get on top of some tables and step on people’s belongings with no regard for their things, screaming for someone to tell me where the other urinal was. I was being ignored. Eventually, a guy who knew where to piss, goes in a corner –which wasn’t even a urinal –and starts pissing. I think to myself, “ah, I guess I shoulda just went in the corner.” …I finally piss. The end.

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Permalink Posted in: anecdote, celebs, comedy, dream log, howard stern, shabooty, shabooty exclusive August 25, 2011

My Embarrassing Dave Chappelle Dream… (SHABOOTY DREAM LOG RECAP)

My Embarrassing Dave Chappelle Dream… (SHABOOTY DREAM LOG RECAP)

Uh, so Dave Chappelle showed up in my dream last night. #NoStarFu*kerStatus

First of all — I am embarrassed to share this dream because a) It shows my desperation for fame and b) I’m the farthest thing from “GROUPIE-IFIED” or (groupified), at least in real life c) subconsciously however, that may be a different story as evidenced by this dream-log/rapid-eye movement anecdote:

I was out somewhere in public amongst a bunch of strangers, and we all see Dave Chappelle walking up some steps (perhaps a subway station), and all of a sudden the crowd starts clamoring to get Dave’s attention. Like ya know, how fans maul celebrities they see in public.

I got caught up in the hoopla, the next thing I know, I am grabbing Dave by his ankle and at the same time plugging my website, lol.

Eventually, Dave manages to get away from the crowd, then I cornered him (again telling him about my blog), but he even admits to me he’s not gonna remember that shit. I take out my iPhone, and I pull up my blog to show him cause maybe that way he’d remember it, (if he had a visual to go along with me screaming “SHABOOTY” in his ear). I pull up my blog and to my horror it’s an old yellow template/design from 5 years ago instead, and I was embarrassed to show him! It looked putrid.

I woke up.

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Permalink Posted in: anecdote, celebs, comedy, dream log, nyc, shabooty, shabooty exclusive August 25, 2011

Hispanic Shoplifter at Duane Reade in NYC Evades Arrest (@JoeyBoots Video)

Hispanic Shoplifter at Duane Reade in NYC Evades Arrest (@JoeyBoots Video)

Most security guards are either African (bush-bitch status), or they’re pro wrestling fans. The latter doesn’t help in apprehending an elusive Spanish guy. Yes, he stole from Duane Reade, but at least he lost the shirt off his back for it. Lulz.

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Permalink Posted in: comedy, howard stern, nyc, video August 25, 2011