Woman Raped, Throat Cut In Baltimore After Allowing Man To Shovel Snow on Sidewalk!

Woman Raped, Throat Cut In Baltimore After Allowing Man To Shovel Snow on Sidewalk!

When I read this headline, a ton of things ran into my mind. Well, a whole stand-up act raced through my mind, if only I was a stand-up.

So many questions were left unanswered!

There’s a story about a guy that cleans a (presumably hot) chick’s driveway — (isn’t that human nature to presume that every chick that is raped is the HOTTEST CHICK EVAR? Sort of like the step-sister of morbid curiosity, hotness presumption.)

Then he raped her? I wonder how far he got before he raped her, like halfway thru [cleaning]? I mean how thorough of a job cleaning snow, does a rapist do?

If I was a hot chick and a guy did a half ass job on my drive way, while I look half way hot, I’d be scared. Let’s only hope that his RAPE-RAPE would be only done half-assed as well… and not to completion.

Was it a premeditated attack? If not, she musta been hot, right? If it was an attack on the spot. Was it AFTER he got paid, did he then get laid? All of these questions raced through my mind just by reading that one headline.

Now, I dunno what that says about me. I haven’t raped a driveway with a snow shovel since I was a kid! Honest.

Anyways, jokes aside, the answers to my great questions (and you wonder why I am a good interviewer), are answered below!

Woman raped, cut in Canton after allowing man to shovel sidewalk [Baltimore Sun]

(hattip: Libby)

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Permalink Posted in: odds and ends December 22, 2009