5 Annoying Things About The Sports Junkies (Radio Show)

Preface: I don’t listen to The Sports Junkies or testicle radio. I did listen to them a little bit 4-5 years ago, only because they were on the same radio station that Howard Stern was on.

If you haven’t heard of The Sports Junkies, pat yourself on the back. They’re a local D.C. radio talk show on CBS radio. The Junkies are basically a Howard Stern rip-off show + some sports sprinkled in, but funny sprinkled out. Here are the first five annoying things about their show that came to mind:

The Junkettes:
(Think Miss Howard Stern or Miss Howard TV). The Junkettes should be called the Cuntettes. The thought that being a “Junkette” is a coveted title, is so far out there and warped to me. Here is the typical bio of a Junkette: DC chick, very cunty, probably a bartender, has no soul, thinks she’s special because of the title, is in no way shape or form advancing her “modeling career,” (as we all know, DC is the modeling and entertainment mecca of the country – or not).

Love for The Borgata (Atlantic City Casino):
I was flabbergasted the other day when I brought up the Borgata (where Artie Lange performs regularly, and often talks about on the Stern Show -along with sister hotel, The Water Club), and my co-worker assumed I knew about it from The Sports Junkies. WTF. Since when did The Sports Junkies jump on that boat? Stick with the shitty local DC spots, kids… let’s not act like we are Tri-state elite when we are tri-state (DMV) e-light.

Junkies spin-off shows:
Imagine an average testicle radio show (The Sports Junkies), and spinning-off on that?!?! How much more watered down and commercial-filled can we get, folks? The one thing that is dense is doucheyness. If you add water to a douchebag, it’s still a runny bag of shit. (Referring to the mid-day show that is un-listenable).

Local Appearances:
Note to listeners – when the Sports Junkies do a local appearance at a moldy arm-pit of a bar, it’s not cause they like you. It’s cause their careers (and terrestrial radio) are in the dumps to the point where they have to supplement their income with cheesy appearances. They’re married guys, so they can’t even pull any trim. Yawn.

Slang use by douchey listerner-base:
The one thing that the Junkies did have going for them was their unique cracker-esque Prince Georges County, MD – white boy ghetto slang. I admit it was unique and catchy, and their only redeeming quality. However … couple the slang with their douchey listerner-base, and you have throw-up in one’s mouth induced fits. There is nothing worse than walking down the hallway at work and hearing, “yeah man, the Redskins were hurrrttttttting the other night,” or “omg, that chick is monnnayyyy.” Ugh, stfu. You all are wack as fuck with this played out shit.
Anyways, let me end with the one name in radio that matters, Howard Stern… oh, and fuck off Junks.

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Permalink Posted in: artie lange, chick, dc, howard stern, reviews, shabooty, shabooty exclusive, show, sirius, sports, ventilation Comments(7) September 19, 2008