Shabooty Interview Series: Elisa Jordana
Isn’t it ironic that Elisa Jordana’s former group, “Cobra Starship” is mainly famous for their single from the “Snakes” on a “Plane” soundtrack? That’s why if I started a band, it’d be called LiLoh’s Baby Daddy. You never know – two good things could come of it in the future… either a) I help record the soundtrack to a future LiLoh sextape, or b) I knock up Lindsay Lohan herself. I’ve always had a fantasy of buying futurely brown, white diapers, with a black amex card.
Back to Elisa – Elisa Jordana is a singer/songwriter and former Cobra Starship keytarist. Keytarist is a cute way of saying, “I can parade around with a keyboard around my neck,” and still look hot. And I am not saying “hot chicks” do this, but how many Napoleon Dynamite’s or JD Harmeyer’s of the world, do you know that move to New York City at age 17? In NYC, Elisa started out working with Queen Latifah’s Flavor Unit group (when Latifah was Living Single). From there, Elisa rocked out with her cock keytar out, with the band Cobra Starship. In 2007, Elisa left Cobra Starship and is now embarking on her solo career, adopting the persona of glamorous pop star being the gangster bitch that is Elisa Jordana. She has also worked with artists including JC Chasez, the Summer Obsession’s Lucien “Luke Skywalker” Walker, and producer Colby O’Donis — not to mention, has now officially been interviewed by ‘Shabooty’. Editor’s Note: shabooty has never watched Snakes On A Plane or listened to Cobra Starship’s “I Kissed A Boy” parody song.
Shabooty: Hi Elisa! To me keytar sounds like a cute way to say keyboards –aside from the obvs, what are the differences between keyboards and a keytar?
Elisa Jordana: Really different. For one, with a keyboard you can’t dance, and with a keytar, you can dance around. On the keyboard, you’re the person sitting in the back no one notices. The keytar – everyone asks about it, everyone’s interested in it, plus it can have any sound on it.
You left Cobra Starship – are you still friends with those guys? – or is there beef?
I still think of them highly – I’m working on new music now and they’re a huge influence on me. I’m doing a new electro-pop record – I wouldn’t be doing the things I’m doing now if it weren’t for them. I have great feelings for that band.
You worked with “Luke the freak” of 2Live crew?
Na, that’s a different Luke. I’ve worked with Elliot Yamin, Colby O’Donis, JC, …this Luke’s producing the new Sugar Ray album.
In terms of how you label yourself, what’s the ratio from model to keytarist to singer to…?
First and foremost, I am performer, then a musician, great song writer, and after that a singer. I do enjoy photoshoots, but I’m not really a model per say, but I’ve modeled a lot recently, so it’s pretty cool, I enjoy it.
Do you say your age?
Just turned 24
How tall are you?
How do you stay in shape?
I love to swim – I’m good swimmer, in fact just swam now. I don’t really work out much, I’m naturally thin – my arms and legs remain skinny at all times. I also like to dance – my sister says I’m not a good dancer. I was on a TV show, and I forgot the moves, so choreography I’m no good at, but freestyle – I’m really good.
You can dance in heels?
Yeahhh, can dance in heels, boots, slippers, jellies, roller skates…
Are you a vegan?
Yes, I am. I have two dogs & love animals. I’d never eat my dog and love animals too much, so I can’t eat any meat.
Is your sister as hot as you?
My sister’s very beautiful, she gets hit on more than me. There’s a resemblance, we look a lot alike.
Did you legally change your name (formerly Elisa Schwartz) or is Jordana just your show-biz name?
I always liked the name Jordana, it’s an awesome name. I’m separate from the band (Cobra), so I have a separate identity, and making a come back with my own thing, and new name. I completely changed everything about myself – I wanted a new identity. [Elisa Jordana] rings pretty nice, eh – it’s a very glamorous name.
Was Cobra Starship originally called Kosher Starship?
Omg, there are a lotta Jews in that band, that’s for sure. I guess it shoulda been called that.
It’s much better -that’d be cool if it was called that.
What % Jewish are you?
I love Jewish culture – I consider myself full Jewish, but my Mom was half. They’re usually really funny. Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm) is my perfect man.
It’s the name of your single, but are you really a “nymphomaniac”?
Actually, no – I’m not – I talk a lotta shit in my songs, you can usually tell – if it was up to me, i want people to listen to [my songs], to go wild and promote happiness. I like to see other nymphomaniacs while listening to it – if I can provoke that, that’d be really cool.
When did you first learn to play a musical instrument?
It was piano, when I was four years old. I was classically trained – I took lessons for many years, and it made me really want to write music. I just love the technical part of music. It’s also very mathematical and technical – you can take same melodies, and turn them into amazing rock and hip-hop songs. Playing music affects the whole room and it’s so exciting, that’s what I always loved about music- it can change your life.
I really think they should invent a see-thru keytar for you.
That’d be amazing – I am talking to people to get a hot pink keytar, with my name on it, with stars or rainbows.
Would you only marry a Jewish guy and/or make the person convert?
I dated mostly Jews, but I’m very open-minded. I’ve been single for 3 years. To the eligible bachelors – you can myspace me, I’m very available, (but only if you’re a fan of my music).
[Editor's Note: that strike-thru, is me cock-blocking].
Do you like Howard Stern?
I love Howard Stern, he’s so hilarious – I used to see him a lot in NY. A couple of my friends went on the show. I was glad I slept in that day, as they all ended up nude on the show – oh and I love Robin [Quivers].
Would you do his show?
Yes, I would – before, I was asked and I didn’t do it. Before, I was afraid what would happen [on the show]. With past experiences, now I’m stronger.
How often do you listen?
No – I don’t have satellite radio now, but I’m gonna get it soon and am def gonna listen to it. I heard they’ve gotten dirtier. I think freedom of speech is very important. As long it can get you a good audience, I would def make an appearance.
What do you think of Paris Hilton?
I love Paris Hilton – love her whole thing. Seems like a lotta fun. She’s fashionable, likes pink – so do I. We have a lot in common -she’s really funny – I don’t think she’s as dumb as everyone thinks she is. If she was, every dumb blonde would be famous, too.
Who are your favorite musicians?
Katy Perry, M.I.A., RATATAT, my old band Cobra, Uffie.
Your dog has his own myspace page? [WTF?!?]
I had a fan who made it – I got a myspace request, and my dog’s picture was on it – and they made, “Who Let The Dogs Out” as their profile song.
And that didn’t creepers you the f- out?
I don’t care. Kids are very in touch with the artists that they love. I’m friendly with a lot of my fans. I talk to them, they know what they wanna buy and I listen to that. It’d be very stupid not to listen to the kids… that’s where it’s at – I’d never be creeped out.
Do you make love to your own songs?
I hadn’t had sex in awhile, so I haven’t had the chance, unfortunately. I’d like it if other people made love to my songs. If my music can make people to have sex… …long as it makes them feel something.
What’s the new song going to be called?
The new single’s going to be called Go Home… really excited about it – can’t wait for it – it’s gonna make everyone have sex.
What projects do you have going on & upcoming?
My current single: Nymphomaniac… I’m doing an American Apparel photo shoot… doing a bunch of press interviews… my myspace… the front page of purevolume.com… really exciting things are happening soon… my song’s gonna be featured on a forthcoming season of a MTV reality show… (hint: hopefully during the love scenes and hot tub scenes).