Cris Abrego, the Spielberg of C-Listers

Pictured Left: Cris Abrego

We’re all familiar by now with Mark Cronin of Howard Stern Show staff-fame, but what about Cris Abrego. Cris Abrego has quietly become the Stephen Spielberg of the Celebrity C-list. What do I mean by that? I mean he is the new king of reality tv, (IMHO), dethroning Mark Brunette. Almost any reality tv show these days on VH1 and MTV, is executive produced by Cris Abrego and his production company (unoriginally and egotistically titled: Cris Abrego Productions). However, when it comes to Cris’ reality shows, ego is set aside and originality comes to the table. He’s the force behind such Viacom staples as: I Love New York, From G’s To Gents, The Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, My Fair Brady, Rock of Love, and Making the Band.

Cris Abrego is basically Stephen Spielberg, but instead of getting a star at their Red Giant stage, the celebrities he gets are white dwarfs (I never thought I’d be referring to Flavor Flav as a white dwarf). He takes their career trajectories which might be nearing a black hole, and injecting some Supergiant in them, or in Tiffany/New York’s instance, supergiant jugs.

Now let’s back up. Who’s the true originator of “reality television?” Not Cris Abrego, Not Mark Brunette, Not Mark Cronin, but close, Mark Cronin’s former boss: Howard Stern. There would be no Flavor of Love w/o Howard Stern regularly having Flavor Flav on his show & promoting him, when no one else on radio or tv was doing it. Howard’s E!TV show, Howard’s Channel 9 Show… those are the Comic Book Issue #1′s of reality TV. Now back to Cris — he deserves a ton of credit and I am sure his home in the Hollywood Hills shows for all of his success. Let’s put it this way, your little daughter wouldn’t be as fucked up in the head without the likes of Cris [and reality tv]. Actually, nevermind – I take that back. I am mixing up Cris with the assholes that produced “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills”:

The good reality show would be seeing how those douchebags sleep at night (Except Tony DiSanto – he’s cool).

Now Imma go be Cris’ Shia Labeouf, and put my hand into a blender, and count the years for when I get to co-star with a 40 year old haggard-cougar alcoholic version of Megan Fox.

$

Permalink Posted in: celebs, los angeles, shabooty, shabooty exclusive, tv, ventilation August 27, 2008