Monthly Archives: August 2008

WTF…Dream Log, Much?

I’m walking with my dad and my preg. sister, and I get separated (ahead of them). I’m walking up a pathway  and there are these giant fucking suitcases – like think of a suitcase 50 x its normal size, and some homeless people were using them as homes and beds, and living in them. So, there are a bunch of fucking zombie-like homeless guys just standing around and staring at you walk by. And then, I guess someone thought they could make money off this, so this Jamican looking guy behind them is a DJ and was spinning records and was having them dance and shit – maybe to earn money from passer-byers, but the whole thing looks fucking creepy. Demented people… so I kept walking by.

I go through these corridors and down a ramp, and walk out to the other end. As soon as I get out to the other end, I see a bunch of police and SWAT men go inside where I had just came from, then I just hear/see bullets flying through the air and I just try to take cover. I even see a body come flying down from the third floor — so I’m just trying to be stay low and safe. I’m also wondering where the fuck my dad and sister are. So there are a bunch of spectators around and then another one of those creepy homeless guys (almost like a demented pan-handler) starts bugging out at me. His voice is the only one that stands out from the crowd and he’s asking, “can I get money? – if not, say the #8″ (like an automated message), and I’m like, “8! 8! 8!” and he replies, “say 8, 8, 8, 1, please!” I start walking away, but his voice – I can still hear talking to me even from far away – this short creepy homeless demon. He even starts talking to me like this – questioning me: “Who are you, who are you with?” I turn the corner to get away, and at that point I wake up. I was too weirded out.

~~~

Post-Dream Analysis:

Suitcase

To see a suitcase in your dream, indicates that you are a very together person. You keep attitudes and behavior in check. Alternatively, it is symbolic of a much needed vacation or break. You need some changes in your life.

You can say that again...
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August 30, 2008

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R.I.P. StuffBlackPeopleHate.com?

stuff black people hate

One of my closest BFF’s (no brokeback) Chris, has been the creative genius behind StuffBlackPeopleHate.com. In half a year, he’s garnered a groundswell of visitors and a pear tree full of partridges – in terms of a following. As a regular reader of the site – I can speak for others, we’ve not only drank the kool-aide, we’ve drank the purple kool-aide…mmm!

There are a few conclusions I can high-jump to, however. As far as stuff that black people do hate, I imagine they hate walking away from a successful thing, see: Jay-Z, Michael Jordan, Omarosa.
I mean crazy shit happens in this world, hell – John McCain picked a broad as his Vice Presidential running mate, and a black man filled up a stadium in Denver, a mile-high full of white people.

But than again, maybe that’s the Native American blood in Chris – they walked away from land-owning (joke – and he’ll smack me later for saying that). However, there are a few things on the horizon. Chris has been busy writing a SBPH Book – which it’s a shame I haven’t been asked to write the foreword (I guess I’ll be using my copy to NOT-autograph). And lastly, know one thing -as someone who’s been blogging regularly since the end of 2003 in my shared dorm room at the University of Maryland – it won’t be the last of a ‘Chris blog.’ At least not for me anyway, as before there was the staple that is ‘SBPH’, there existed our inner-circle’s ‘Google-group’ — aka belly-laugh inducing email treads that roared onward with thread counts well over a hundred emails a day. In July of 2007, on my drive to the beach, the constant in-flux of tomfoolery to my 1st gen iPhone – provided me hours of entertainment, and obvs not an ounce of left over battery power. Such pre-SBPH.com entertainment was a daily ritual. Either way, homeboy best be entertaining me! I kidd, I kidd.

So anyways, don’t get down SBPH-ers. There’s the facebook group, the forthcoming book, and your local Popeyes. Now, go sop up those tears with a biscuit!

P.s.

That asshole better not be going Hollywood without me!

P.p.s.

Oh yeah, you might be interested in reading the “final” post… it rhymes with Triggers , but less ‘happy’.

$


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August 29, 2008

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Lindsay Lohan Responds To Father’s X17 Interview With Blog Rant

X17: Is it true that Sam is writing a book that will include details about her relationship with Lindsay?

ML: Dina said to me the other day, and you can hear it on my voicemail, ‘Did you hear that Sam’s writing a book?’ So it seems it may be true. Samantha’s a control freak and she’s using Lindsay to further her career. Lindsay’s been sold out by so many people in the past, Sam would just be another name on the list.

X17: Why is Samantha bad for Lindsay?

ML: She’s feeding Lindsay alcohol behind the scenes, but that’s really Lindsay’s fault for taking it — it’s not about drugs or alcohol. A person can be a drug and Sam is a drug. She’s very controlling and manipulative and it’s not a healthy relationship for Lindsay.

I told Lindsay after she left Cirque Lodge that she needed to surround herself with good people when she got out and Sam and her friend Patrick are definitely not those good people. The only people responsible for keeping Lindsay on track are her sober companion, her assistant, and Blair Burke — and, I hope, myself … definitely not Dina.

X17: Where does Dina stand on all of this?

ML: I blame a lot of Lindsay’s problems on Dina — she’s two-faced and plays both sides of the coin. She tells me it’s important to get Sam out of Lindsay’s life and then she turns around and has dinner with them!

Everyone around Lindsay who really cares about her is saying ‘Get Sam out of Lindsay’s life,” and so does Dina, until there’s a photo op.

We were supposed to have a family meeting the night she went out to dinner with Sam and her mom and Lindsay and Dina just skipped out — just after telling me all about how Sam has a negative affect on Lindsay’s life.

So I’m calling my lawyers, going back to court, and I’m going to hit her where it hurst – the wallet. I gave Dina everything in the divorce, just so I would get to see my kids and now she does this to her own child.

READ REST>>

Lindsay’s Response:

DRUG FREE
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that’s what i have believed my whole life- don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going…

If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).

He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.

This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.

I’m not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…

I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

~~~

Man, that’s an awkward dynamic. Responding to your father via your myspace blog. I hope they all fall down a flight of metal stairs.

$


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August 28, 2008

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Suge Knight Arrested On Assault & Drug Charges In Las Vegas


Hip Hop Mogul Marion ‘Suge’ Knight Arrested


Press Conference (LVPD)

On Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 6:39 a.m. the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department received a domestic violence call at 3282 Spring Mountain Road. Upon officers arriving, they observed an African American male holding a knife and standing over an African American female.

Officers learned the male was Marion Hugh Knight a.k.a. Suge Knight. After interviewing the female, officers learned that she is Knight’s girlfriend of three years, and that they were involved in an argument. Allegedly, Knight punched the female victim in the head as he was driving. In an effort to escape, the victim purposely grabbed the steering wheel and caused the vehicle to hit the curb. When the vehicle struck the curb it came to a stop in front of the above location. The victim fled from the vehicle and Knight allegedly gave chase on foot and eventually caught the victim. It is at this time that the officers arrived. Knight was taken into custody without incident and the female victim was taken to Spring Valley Hospital.

Knight was charged with Assault with a Deadly Weapon and Battery Domestic Violence and transported to the Clark County Detention Center.

At the Clark County Detention Center during an inventory search of Knight, he was found to be in possession of Ecstasy and Hydrocodone. Knight was additionally charged with Possession of a Controlled Substance and Possession of Dangerous Drugs without a Prescription.

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August 28, 2008

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Cris Abrego, the Spielberg of C-Listers


Pictured Left: Cris Abrego

We’re all familiar by now with Mark Cronin of Howard Stern Show staff-fame, but what about Cris Abrego. Cris Abrego has quietly become the Stephen Spielberg of the Celebrity C-list. What do I mean by that? I mean he is the new king of reality tv, (IMHO), dethroning Mark Brunette. Almost any reality tv show these days on VH1 and MTV, is executive produced by Cris Abrego and his production company (unoriginally and egotistically titled: Cris Abrego Productions). However, when it comes to Cris’ reality shows, ego is set aside and originality comes to the table. He’s the force behind such Viacom staples as: I Love New York, From G’s To Gents, The Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, My Fair Brady, Rock of Love, and Making the Band.


Cris Abrego is basically Stephen Spielberg, but instead of getting a star at their Red Giant stage, the celebrities he gets are white dwarfs (I never thought I’d be referring to Flavor Flav as a white dwarf). He takes their career trajectories which might be nearing a black hole, and injecting some Supergiant in them, or in Tiffany/New York’s instance, supergiant jugs.

Now let’s back up. Who’s the true originator of “reality television?” Not Cris Abrego, Not Mark Brunette, Not Mark Cronin, but close, Mark Cronin’s former boss: Howard Stern. There would be no Flavor of Love w/o Howard Stern regularly having Flavor Flav on his show & promoting him, when no one else on radio or tv was doing it. Howard’s E!TV show, Howard’s Channel 9 Show… those are the Comic Book Issue #1′s of reality TV. Now back to Cris — he deserves a ton of credit and I am sure his home in the Hollywood Hills shows for all of his success. Let’s put it this way, your little daughter wouldn’t be as fucked up in the head without the likes of Cris [and reality tv]. Actually, nevermind – I take that back. I am mixing up Cris with the assholes that produced “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills”:

The good reality show would be seeing how those douchebags sleep at night (Except Tony DiSanto – he’s cool).

Now Imma go be Cris’ Shia Labeouf, and put my hand into a blender, and count the years for when I get to co-star with a 40 year old haggard-cougar alcoholic version of Megan Fox.

$


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August 27, 2008

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DMX Curses Out Miami Judge, Denied Bond (Not In That Order)


A Miami judge incurred the wrath of rapper DMX by denying his bond this morning. DMX was arrested in Miami on August 14th on a warrant for failing to appear in a Phoenix court to face drug charges. Before that, he was arrested on multiple drug and traffic charges. DMX has remained in custody in Miami since the arrest because the Phoenix judge who issued the warrant revoked his bond. When Judge Lawrence Schwartz denied his bond, DMX responded by cursing out the judge who quipped, “Oh that just ingratiated you to me. I’ve never heard the “f’ word before so it’s okay.”

I wish I had the balls to say f.u. to “the man.” DMX and my dogs bite, Jigga my nicca, ride all…nite. Get at me dog, oof, oof! I shed blood, for my niccas, let a nicca holla, right here my niccaz — chants DMX says before getting pounded in the ass in jail.


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August 26, 2008

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Diddy Doesn’t Know Funny, Nor Do I Want To Work For Diddy


P.Diddy is forced to fly American Airlines because the gas prices are too high for him to fuel up his private jet.

Aka here Diddy shows that he will go to great lengths in douchery to try and be viral video classic.

WAHHHHHHHHH, I can’t afford my private jet, wahhhh!

And while we’re ribbing Diddy (no homo), his new Apprentice spin-off show on VH1, “I Want To Work For Diddy”, fucking irks me (I’ve tried watching twice now). Sure, I’m friends with the director, so I’ve been quiet on my criticisms of the show, but let me just say, there are two major flaws in the show (free advice, Mark – since you’ve yet to hire me as a producer on the show).
#1) AGITA. At the end of the day, do you really want to sit down, throw on Vh1 and watch this reality show with pure AGITATION? The whole show is pretty much a cluster-fuck which works if there are comedic moments and undertones (the tranny was only funny for the first 5 minutes),  but it’s 60 mins of pure annoyance and agita. I have that eight hours a day at work, why would I want to sit down and watch more headaches?

Flaw #2) (Which I think they’ll be fixing in next week’s episode, but it’s a major flaw because it’s taken 4 long weeks into the series to fix it). PUFFY. Now Puffy isn’t the flaw, the LACK OF PUFFY is the flaw. The few episodes I saw, there was no interaction between the contestants (vie’n to be Puff’s assistant), and P.Diddy himself. In the premier episode for example, they just show some Puffy ‘packages’/pre-recorded clips. The only thing that makes the faggotry that is Making the Band any good, is when Puffy busts balls and ribs the kids on the show. The lack of a Puffy in-person presence takes away from the point of any Puffy Reality show. It’s like having a reality show with Flavor Flav, and he didn’t have a clock, or gold fronts, or horns on, or bitches around. In the preview for next week’s episode however, they do tease that the contestants that remain, finally get face to face with Puff. Finally, I’ll be more interested and (hopefully) entertained, compared to the constant exacerbated ‘agita’ that I feel watching the show thus far.

The best reality show on tv these days — I have to give it up to MTV’s From G’s To Gents. It has me hooked. Oh, well …as far as the Puffy show it won’t be the last. When I talked to a marketing guy at HowardTV InDemand, he told me Puff is soooo in bed with Viacom these days, as he’s been exec. producer on a bunch of shows (Run’s House, etc), and that backend DVD money has been $$$-flow’n for Puff. And lastly, here’s a behind the scenes picture (from my director buddy) of Puffy during the shoot — you know, from back when Puffy could afford to fly private and all, instead of with us heathens.

Behind the scenes ‘At I Want To Work For Diddy‘
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August 26, 2008

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