Cheesecake Factory’s $1.50 Hustle

cheesecake
Rule #1 of Shabooty-club… don’t hustle me. or IF you hustle me, don’t let me realize, or otherwise realize the impending wrath.

The following is the text message rant I sent to my friend (+added details for this blog), so that I didn’t kill the snarky azn guy working at CCF (you know, think of napoleon complex but - IN THE PANTS). Commence rant.

Omg, Cheesecake fagtory is retarded. I stand in a long line for 15 minutes for my $1.50 special (30th anniversary) slice of cheesecake. I get to the register finally and they say, “Oh Sorryyyyy, if you wanted to order at this convenient to-go register (right where there’s the huge standee/sign that is advertising the $1.50 slices), you can, but it would be at the REGULAR PRICE aka 8-9 bux a slice, if you want the $1.50 slice, you can’t order from here sorry, you can dine in though, the special is for folks eating in.”
I say, “oh okay, fine” FUCK YOU DIE SLOW (the FUDS was intrapersonal to myself), “I’ll just go order one at the fucking BAR. Oh, and you might wanna tell the rest of these soon to feel like assholes also waiting in line, behind me.”
Now, I get to the bar and gotta deal with a dumb azn bartender who’s up to his neck in shit…(mainly cause he was a shortshit and cause he was a douche who helped further extend my douche-chills… soo douchey, I felt compelled to actually leave that cocksucker a … get this, a 66% tip). Anyways, I get my cheesecake (no where at the bar to sit OBVS), and am standing up, eating it…I get through half of it, get a doggie bag from another waiter (didn’t wanna deal with the douchey bartender), pay my “bar tab” and split.
I couldn’t get home to share this bullshit fast enough. WTF. FUCK CHEESECAKE FACTORY.

And another point of Cheesecake Factory’s cheesiness: It’s a fancy restaurant yet, their fucking menus have ADVERTISEMENTS in ‘em…how tacky. When I am hungry I don’t wanna look at an ad for Christian Dior. Sigh.

Note: if this wasn’t my first public appearance rocking my BLACK-OUT Hyperdunk shoes, I woulda prolly been even MORE pissed. At least I was styling amid a big bunch of bullshit. So remember kids, every thirty years, you just might be able to pay Cheesecake Factory $1.50 for one special slice of cheesecake and a special buffet of DOUCHE-CHILLS!

P.s.

O well, I’m on a diet, btw.

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Got My BLACKOUT Hyperdunks (Nike+Kobe+Olympics+Blackout+Hyperdunks)

Ready to play?

Here’s the game. I’m gonna show you pics of my new shoes, and you’re gonna try to not cum.
Btw, these pics are with my iPhone, if I use my digital camera or in-person, they’re even sexier, trust me. Oh and they’re light as a feather too. Def sweeeet! Hot colorway, eh? So wearing ‘em out tomorrow night to the J*Davey concert. I gotta look sexy backstage. Ha ha haa.

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Sh*t I Need To Post

odds

Necro is saving hip-hop nsfw Showing up on time for shit is not hip-hop lol @ bol’s comments about rick ross’ perfect attendance not being hood and the accompanying Certificate. that is classic, i might print it out and hang it up at work as a goof. Go here, and read the section titled: AN INNOCENT MAN WHO SERVED 27 YEARS. crazy life story. Serial Rape Suspect’s Trail Of Clues Leads to Violent End. crazy local story. Buried loot a mystery for authorities. crazy mexican money story. Lastly, did you know, if you see a White Kitten in your dreams, it signifies deceit and trouble?

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Video: New McCain Ad Featuring Paris Hilton & Britney Spears In Jab At Obama’s Celebrity

New McCain ad to feature Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, called Celeb.

Barack Obama might be a long-legged mac-daddy, but come on now, putting him in the same vein as Paris Hilton is laughable.

Last I checked Barack Obama hasn’t:

-been to rehab
-done a sex tape
-flipped over his truck while DUI-ing
-had his kids taken away from him
-opened night clubs
-said ‘that’s hot’
-has been in more hotels than bibles
-banged more guys than a door-stop
-was a former mousekateer
-has cried a river after a break-up
-showed his vagine every two seconds getting out of a car

I think Scott DePace, the Howard Stern Show director, helped create this ad. Sigh.

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Quivertine No More: Robin Quivers and Jim Florentine Break-up

robin and jim
I was shocked at the news of Robin Quivers & Jim Florentine’s break up. I didn’t get to hear it live, and a friend actually spoiled it for me before I got to listen to the show yesterday. Here’s the HowardStern.com recap:

Robin revealed that she and Jim broke up over the weekend: “I guess we wore out.” Howard didn’t believe it, because Robin was so into Jim, leading Robin to explain that Jim broke up with her: “We hit a patch there a couple months ago and I guess we’re not gonna get through it.” Howard asked if Robin was ever in love with Jim at any point, but Robin still refused to say: “I think very highly of Jim.” Robin continued, saying they had a talk and then some time to think and decided that the relationship was over: “It just happened yesterday.”

Ralph called in to ask if Jim could be booked on the show for tomorrow morning, but Robin resisted: “I don’t think that so much…Maybe in a year.” Shuli, Jim’s close friend, came in to say he was happy to hear of the break-up, as he could now tell stories about Jim’s farts without Robin getting angry. Greg asked how weird it was that Jim was probably listening right now, and Robin confessed that she hated the idea. Howard wondered if she regretted “giving herself” to Jim, and Robin admitted she did: “Yes. Not because of who he is as a person. But because of who he is on the show…He has too much information.”

This is awful news…yet great radio. Let me get back to listening to Tuesday’s show, folks.

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Shabooty Interview Series: Aesop Rock

aesop rock + interview + shabooty
Photo by Chrissy Piper

Aesop Rock - the tall man of the NY weathermen rap cliq - consistently breathes fresh air into everything he touches. He’s the only man that could have a music video with zombies, and yet still is that proverbial, (or fabled) fresh prince of fresh air. His artistry on the mic, coupled with his abilities working the production tip, makes my heart float. I wish I was like Aes-Rizzle, and the only thing getting in between me and GTA4 was a flourishing rap career & touring. Instead, I beat it last week. At least this Aesop Rock cd has replayability. Lucky for you, Aesop is currently touring the states, and lucky for me, he found time on the road to play one-sided twenty-questions.

Shabooty: You’re my top 3 favorite “tall” celebs - Kobe Bryant, yourself, and of course, Howard Stern. How tall are you exactly?
Aesop Rock: Hey, thanks man. I’m 6′4″. Big props to Stern. He’s from Long Island. I watch and listen to a lot of Stern these days.

You Moved To San Fransisco, How is it?
San Fran is cool. Pretty mellow which makes for a great retreat when off the road. Great weather. I have a decent apt, so it’s tuff to move. My studio is comfortable. My shitbox car keeps getting hit, but hey, I guess that has nothing to do with SF, more my cars magnetic energy.

How is the music scene in SF different from that of NY?
Hm. I dunno, depending on the day it’s not all that different. You got your handful of venues, touring bands come thru, and underground groups seem to have a couple places to go and get busy. It’s a big town you know, its a major market for tours so you get the same shows as NY or LA in that sense. I don’t drink, so I’m not up on the bar/dj scene much, but it’s a town that caters to the arts pretty heavily. A lot of people here make things.

You love your Nintendo DS, right - would you be ever want to pick Shigeru Miyamoto’s brain?
My DS is ok. I like it, but I don’t love it yet. If I sat with Miyamoto I think I would be speechless. His list of accomplishments is so long and awesome. I’d just be like “um…thanks?” What do you say to the guy who created Zelda? I really wouldn’t know where to start in picking his brain, but I’d definitely buy that dude a burger. Nintendo is a crazy company. They don’t always hit the mark, but they are easily the most original of the game system companies, and continue to take risks, which is pretty admirable in such a high stakes field with pretty fierce competition. They go against the grain for better or for worse, so I will always give them props.

Have you done shows in Japan yet?
Yeah, I’ve been to Japan a few times, Tokyo and Osaka a few times and we did Fuji rock once. It’s pretty intense. I feel so far from anything I am comfortable with out there. It’s interesting, but I don’t hold up well in those types of environments. The culture shock is really abrupt and intense. Can be fun, but I’d rather go to japan town, then walk home when I’m done.

Howard Stern or Opie and Anthony?
Stern.

Are you boys with “Dog the Bounty Hunter”? - I heard your song Food Clothes Medicine on Dog’s show.
They licensed it. I was a fan ’til he turned out to be a racist piece of shit. I mean I guess it wasn’t that surprising in the end, but I have to admit the show intrigued me prior to that ridiculous taped call. I ended up feeling a bit embarrassed that my song was on his show. Fuck you Dog, fuck you. But that theme song that Ozzy whipped up is pretty insane… “I’m the dog, the big bad do-o-og…”

You’ve been conducting some interviews yourself –who are some folks you’ve been dying to interview?
I dunno really, it’s all pretty new to me. I’m kinda just moving it along slowly. I enjoy it, but in some ways I’m not cut out for it. I tend to freeze up around people I admire. I’ve been trying to interview Chris Ware for a while, but hes a tuff guy to track down and he seems to be pretty intensely introverted. I tend to stick to people I kinda know a bit, cuz I know they’ll give me great answers, plus hitting people up out of the blue is just not my steez. Ware agreed to answer 5 questions for me once, but I couldn’t even think of 5 questions for him. Plus, I’m not out to bother anyone really, so yeah I’m gonna keep it all in the family, if the extended family. I’ve met a lot of interesting people over the years and I should know enough to keep me busy for awhile. I just interviewed Ben Colen, staff photographer for the girl and chocolate skateboard teams. He’s my oldest friend, and it was really cool for me to hit up this dude I’ve known forever and have a reason to ask him a bunch of shit. I felt proud to know him.

Apparently NBC is booting Jay Leno for the younger Conan O’Brien in that coveted Tonight Show slot –I imagine this is a good thing for you? (Conan’s show is probably more ‘hip to the game,’ so they’re more likely to have a newer breed of music on there than Leno).
I guess. That’s another weird world, late night tv. I went on [Jimmy] Kimmel with El-P, but they never aired the song we did. I got invited to do Kimmel myself, but the date was around the writer’s strike and it all fell through. I think I’d be too nervous to do Conan, to the point where it wouldn’t even be fun. I might say no if it ever came up, then deal with the wrath of my label and publicist and manager telling me I’m an ass. The whole ‘you get one shot to impress the nation’ part of it kinda irks me. Leno is a joke.

Does each person’s individual success in the weathermen, mean less seeing of each other?
I think growing up in general means less seeing each other. I dont think anyone’s success has at all affected their ability to chill. If anything has it’s just that people learn to love their privacy a bit. We all travel a lot so being home is nice for everyone. But it’s still a close knit crew, and I believe in all of them. These are people that are o.c.d. about their love of music making, so if anyone slips out for a second it’s pretty understandable. It’s a group of people who love their cocoons, and also love to come out of them and share with each other. Really really talented, good-hearted folk that I am constantly impressed by and honored to be associated with.

How does it make you feel when the #1 song in the country is (IMO a dumb) song like “I Kissed a Girl”? Have you for a long time grown the stomach to not be disgusted by lame commercial music?
Occasionally I’ll throw a brief tantrum, but for the most part I’m pretty used to it. The good thing about pop music is the same as the bad thing - it’s pretty disposable. If a particularly irritating song gets a lot of run, chances are it’ll be done in a short amount of time and you’ll never have to hear from the group again. I mean it’s pop you know? Popular. People love it, a lot of people love it. It’s not what I do, but some of it is ok. A lot of it is flimsy.

What is your favorite Æsop’s fable?
I kinda like “The Eagle and the Arrow.” They’re all pretty neat really, just quick reads that kinda make sense in some off kilter yet crystal clear way. It’s pretty impressive stuff.

Æsop. (Sixth century B.C.) Fables: The Eagle and the Arrow

AN EAGLE was soaring through the air when suddenly it heard the whizz of an Arrow, and felt itself wounded to death. Slowly it fluttered down to the earth, with its life-blood pouring out of it. Looking down upon the Arrow with which it had been pierced, it found that the haft of the Arrow had been feathered with one of its own plumes. “Alas!” it cried, as it died,

“WE OFTEN GIVE OUR ENEMIES THE MEANS FOR OUR OWN DESTRUCTION.”

Is that where the name Aesop Rock partly came from?
Not exactly, but I definitely didn’t mind the association at the time when I adopted the name. It came about in some completely unrelated manner. Years later in my college [Boston University], they opened up a bagel store called Aesop’s Bagels. That was annoying.

Is it difficult performing in front of family?
Yes. well, my 2 brothers have seen me many many times now, so that’s all good usually provided I don’t think about them being in the crowd when I’m on stage. My mother and father is a different story. For many years they never saw me perform. Pretty much within the last 2 years or so they’ve seen me play twice. It’s pretty nerve racking cuz it’s impossible to not think about the fact that they are out there in the crowd. They are cool with it and definitely proud, but I don’t think they really understand it at all, and I definitely think they think I’ve made some pretty batty choices.

aesop rock, DC
Aesop Rock Performing In Washington D.C. [Photo by Shabooty]

When are the WeatherMen shoes dropping?
July 31st. Aesop Rock WM Adidas in collaboration with Upper Playground. I did a song for this cool internet commercial that u.p. hooked up. It should go up online in a couple days. Little rap jammy. 500 pairs.

Do you read El-P’ blog, Bastard’s Delight?
Yep. El’s a close friend. I try to stay in touch with what most of my closer friends are doing. He’s a witty and intelligent guy, and usually has some funny shit to say.

Are you on Cage’s upcoming new album, “Depart From Me”? Production as well?
At this point he’s got 2 beats of mine somewhere in there, and I think the ones he picked were great choices for what he does. I think he’s just stockpiling a billion songs and plans to carve out an EP and LP out of that. The stuff we’ve worked on is really dope. Really weird, but really pretty awesome. He’s a one of a kind rap artist. Perhaps the most underrated guy I know. I mean, he definitely gets his props, but he’s got talent way beyond what he is given credit for. As for vocals, I have not been asked yet, but I’d do anything he needed me to do for the album, whether its rimes, beats, button pressing, joint rolling, whatever.

Who are you voting for in November?
I’ll probably vote for Obama, but I really kinda don’t give a fuck. That world is so obnoxious. The debates are difficult to watch cuz the level of immaturity displayed by everyone involved is straight up embarrassing. It’s a bunch of name calling and bullshit. Then you hear everyone getting wrapped up, making insane claims about the validity of one candidate over another, when in reality it’s all the same shit. I hate to sound naive, but there’s really close to no part of me that thinks it matters. I got psyched to vote once. it didn’t go my way.

You say your favorite cereal changes by the hour, which is your fav. right now?
If I were at the store right now….I’d prob go for some honey bunches of oats. Its pretty much my goto these days, mostly.

Is Aesoprock.com cyber-squatted?
One time I paid a guy a bunch of money to make me an awesome website. He ended up being a douchebag, and I never got back on track with it. SO… my friend Karen over at the giant peach keeps it linked to my merch at her store.I’ll get it back if/when I hire another guy to fuck me over.

Who do you go back the farthest with out of Rob Sonic, Blockhead, and DJ Big Wiz?
Blockhead by a lot. I’m close with all of them, but me and Block go back almost 15 years. I’ve lived at his mom’s house, he knows more about me than most people. Really really good dude.

What do you think of the huge ass IKEA that opened on the Red Hook waterfront? is that good for Brooklyn?
Probably not, but I have been known to shop at IKEA.

Will you and your wife collaborate more, musically -in the future?
Yeah definitely. She plays on a lot of my stuff, and I’m doing all the drum programming on her new project with Carson Binks (who played bass in Parchman Farm with her). I wrote some lyrics for it too, I think we both know we’d be stupid to not take advantage of each other. She’s an extremely talented guitar player and song writer.

You’re doing three shows in LA (Sept. 13-15th) at the Troubadour. Have you performed at that venue before? How will this upcoming tour be different from last year’s tour?
LA is the shit. Such a good town to rock in, and they’ve really supported me incredibly since day one. I have indeed played the Troubadour before on a few occasions, and its an awesome venue. Last few times we passed through LA its been El Rey or Henry Fonda, and I think we were just looking for something slightly more intimate. The tour should be fun. we’re hatching out the set now. Some old some new. I think people will be pleased with some of the song selections. last years US tour was right when NSO [None Shall Pass] dropped, and Rob [Sonic] had Sabotage Gigante out at that time too, so we really went for the all out big US run where we show up and growl for a while, then do that 39 more times. This one is shorter, and we really just wanna have fun with it. Sometimes those long runs can be grueling, and you forget your supposed to be enjoying yourself cuz there is so much to worry about and deal with. I think everyone is excited cuz there just less pressure this time. The record is out, it did well for me, we’re coming to say hi again before going to make new records.

An object at rest tends to remain at rest
And an object in motion tends to remain in motion
With the same speed… slow down
With the same speed… slow down
With the same speed… slow down
And in the same direction
Down… down… down…

Thanks Æsop!
-Shabooty
Shabooty.com
aesop rock tour dates 2008
Poster by Mel Kadel

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Shia LabOOF! Actor Injured In Drunk Driving Crash

shia labeouf car accident crashed truck
I like Shia LaBeouf - I don’t like it when Perez calls him a douche, but got damn, when you pwn your F-150 like this:

that’s never good.

And by never good that means me holding back the D-word.

LATStory:

Actor Shia LaBeouf, who starred as a motorcycle-riding greaser in the latest Indiana Jones adventure film, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early today in Hollywood after he and two other people were hurt in a traffic accident.

Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies said LaBeouf made a left turn and collided with an oncoming car about 2:30 a.m. at the intersection of La Brea and Fountain avenues. The actor’s Ford F-150 pickup truck rolled over in the crash.

LaBeouf injured his left hand and was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for surgery, according to Sgt. Kristin Aloma of the sheriff’s West Hollywood station. LaBeouf’s passenger and the other driver, both women, were treated for minor injuries and released from Cedars.
READ REST>> | 2

Here’s a witness account of what happened @ TMZ.

Oh well. I’m just happy to hear my man Shia was with a couple broads (and is okay –aside from his hand). & As long as Megan Fox wasn’t with him/injured, it’s all good, cause that’s my boo!

Update: Statement from publicist, Melissa Kates:
“Attorneys for Mr. [Shia] LaBeouf confirm that an automobile accident involving an additional party occurred early morning in Los Angeles on July 27, 2008. Shia is currently recovering from extensive hand surgery with plans to return to work on the set of Transformers 2 within one month. No further comment will be issued at this time.”

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Nas: “F%*k the LATimes”

nas

I was reading Passion of the Weiss (hiphop blog)… Weiss is the cat that reviewed NAS’ new album in the LATimes, and gave it 2/4 stars. So, how does the wahh wahh Nasty Nas respond? During a show at the Roxy in LA (video at bottom), Nas says, ‘fu*k the LATimes and fuck the New Yorker.’ We can figure out why the New Yorker because of the Barack Obama satire cover, that fell flat on its face, and ‘F- the LATimes,’ because either a) Nas’ shitty album review or b) The Chuck Phillips dude who shit the bed with the 2Pac story, (and is now probably performing sanitation duty at his local high school [after having since been laid off]). I am guessing the former (Nas’ crappy review), so more kudos and credit to Weiss… this reminds me of all of the times Bol has riled up Bun B.

So yeah, where was I - I just wanted to 200% agree with the review. It’s a 2-star album and I can’t blame it for being “Untitled” because when I drop a turd -no matter how shiny, I rarely give the resulted movement of bowels a title. Heck, maybe the cover should have been scratch and sniff. You know, you scratch the whip marks across Nas’ back n snifffff (though, then I’d feel guilty if I scratched too hard and ripped the paper I’d feel like a slave master –oof)… and if only it smelled like shit kelis’ pussy fried chicken, that’d rox0r.

Which leads me to this segway…

Yeah, it’s sad when the only good friggin’ song on the album is the anthem I play in the car on my way to Pope

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Cheesecake Factory’s $1.50 Hustle

Got My BLACKOUT Hyperdunks (Nike+Kobe+Olympics+Blackout+Hyperdunks)

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Shabooty Interview Series: Aesop Rock

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