I Just Watched Juno And Yet Didn’t Feel Gay. I’m Officially Half-Mature.

Ellen Page & Diablo Cody

Damn, that was a pretty damn good movie in Juno, despite the chick-flickyness of it. Props to Diablo Cody, (the former stripper) for penning this movie. The next time a Lindsay Lohan-looking stripper is giving me a lap dance, and tries to get me to read their spec-script (”speculative” screenplay, for those of you not in showbiz), I am soo going to take it from her, and I might even get her to sign the towel separating her from my lap, as well, you know, just in case she becomes famous, and I want to sell her used lap-dance vag towel. Strippers probably want a lot of back-end money though, eh? Since that’s what their back-ends are: part of their meal-ticket. Boy, that Ellen Page is amazing though, for real.
So, this weekend I watched Cloverfield and Juno. I was def not feeling the unimpressive Cloverfield IMO, despite my blogger/friend of Stuffblackpeoplehate.com, saying “Dude! All of the white people die in it, what’s not to love?!?!”. ***SPOILERS*** Shiet, even the bastard-child in Juno…***SPOILERS***…

survives. AND!, to top it off there are no imminent threats of “A FLIGHT OF METAL STAIRS,” throughout the whole movie, which is the ultimate threat to a preggers chick. So, Cloverfield def wins in the metal stairs/dangerous ruins category, but still Juno=good stuff. Nice product placement too: SoBe, Tictacs, SunnyD, Nike…lol. Let me stop being a marketing nerd. Anyways, can someone help me fish out the vagina I grew (in the process of watching this movie), then aborted, from the toilet? I think we have a clog. Damnit, I knew I should have shaved it down before I tried to get rid of the gay-growth in my pants! Fuksicle. p.s. 4/4 stars, booties here, folks.

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Permalink Posted in: celebs, chick, lindsay lohan, los angeles, movie, reviews, shabooty, shabooty exclusive April 27, 2008