30 Things I Hate…

MY LATEST THINGS* I HATE LIST
(*To be honest, this is more of a, people I hate list).

1. Swedish chicks with black hair.
2. Bartender “friends” that can’t hook you up ’cause “there’s a camera.”
3. People who say ‘one sec’, then never get back to you.
4. When you send someone a funny link -and they say, ‘Never send me links please.’
5. Friends going on cross-country winnebago road trips and not telling you.
6. Milfs that can never find a babysitter.
7. You know the manager at a cool nightclub/bar, except for he never works at night –only during the day in the middle of the week –wtf.
8. The chick I know with the biggest tits, is a virgin.
9. Chicks who only message you when they need somethin’ -esp like an internship, concert/festival tickets, etc.
10. Azn people who buy two wiis/ps3s/video game systems on launch day to sell one (or both if they can get profitx2).
11. You let someone use your interview in a self-published book, and they cant even comp you a copy!
12. Chicks who graduate High School, only to be a whore as their vocation.
13. This chick didn’t call you back, because her friend “Bukkake Boy” was in town from Germany. (I shit you not).
14. Chicks that are as big as a duplex that love taking ‘sexy’ pics.
15. Jon Huynh (my friend), is the Vietnamese John Hein.
16. Your friend moves 40 mins away, and it’s like he/she fell off the face of the planet.



17. Knowing two Indian people (red dots), and always mixing up their names, even they look nothing alike.
18. Attractive chick, busted ass teeth, owns her own home. That’s annoying.
19. Au Pairs in the Washington D.C. area –nuff said.
20. People who spam you to ‘digg’ their articles.
21. Accolade-less artists/painters who spam you to come to their art-show/gallery thingy and buy their works. I’d maybe come for the goldfish and koolaide – at best.
22. Chicks who go out, trying to get you to come out, lie saying theres no cover and there is, then never tell you their with their HOT YOUNGER SISTER, wtf.
23. People who don’t understand an inside joke and reply: “Omg, you’re weird, please tell me that was spam, and you didn’t write that”
    …then reply “Oh, I didn’t get that –you’re going to give the wrong impression of me” –sigh.
24. Blubbery chicks that say they just got back from jogging every time you talk to ‘em.
25. Chicks that only chat with you when they’re drunk/and or are only interesting to chat with, when they’re drunk.
26. Canadian redheads, that own 50 www domain names and try to sell ‘em to you everyday.
27. Your ‘president’ of a co. /friend, treats you like her intern.
28. I want to remake “Requiem for a Dream,” but instead of heroine, have these kids crushing up Flintstones vitamins and snorting em…
    but I can only afford CVS brand vitamins.
29. I’m not at SXSW in Austin, Tx.
30. Your friend’s girlfriend is in town and he’s asking how do you want to help entertain her ass… like I give a fuck. ha ha.

See…
I’m Not Boring, Nanny Nanny Boo Boo, Though Admittedly I Did Have To Stick My Head In Doo-Doo To Be Interesting 

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Permalink Posted in: anecdote, shabooty exclusive, ventilation March 7, 2008