SHABOOTY’S MADNESS CAPTION CONTESTâ„¢
You know what to do… *sticky post*
I promise to pick a clear cut winner this week
:click to expand:
caption contest
here’s my caption:
Zach, what did I tell you about when you put legoman heads on your he-man figures and try to make them have sex…!

ODDS & ENDS
If anyone saw American Wedding (american pie 3?) there was an incidence of “Prostate Milking” now if you are wondering like I was…damn is this a real phenomena? If so what do I need other than to be flexible and have a rubber glove…well the answer is here..but damn too bad they’re aren’t any how-to pix! NO HOMO :P
hat tip: Zippy “prostate milk me” Daniel

NuggetMaven is all over this one.. with her two cents on the hilarious The Sneeze dot com.

Tony posted a music video: the new Louis XIV video for the song Paper Dolls from their 2005 Album, The Best Little Secrets are Kept. Directed by Eon McKai… it stars three suicide girls… but I think on that site, the word Suicide and Skanky are interchangable. :P

and in unrelated news: A BOOTY
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hat tip: nikda1daherous

A SNIPPET FROM:
Life Is a Contact Sport
By STEPHEN J. DUBNER

The image “http://i0.wp.com/shabooty.spymac.com/trash4.jpg?w=474” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Alan Harper, a New York Jets fourth-round pick, also found the symposium helpful. As for dating, however, he already has a system in place. ”When you go to a club and you meet a lady, if you tell them you’re from the Jets, they’re going to think one thing: money,” he explains. ”And we don’t want them to think that. We want them to look at you for what you are.”

Harper glances over my shoulder, distracted. A dozen rookies have clustered in a tight, noisy swarm — is it a fight? — and are quickly joined by another dozen. After a moment, the object of their attention is revealed: a shiny black Cadillac Escalade. Its doors are open, its music pumping, its rims gleaming. Word spreads quickly that Keyshawn Johnson drove it down from Los Angeles. It has been fully customized, at a total cost of $105,000. And Johnson, at the center of the rookie swarm, is handing out business cards — for the car-customizing shop he owns in Los Angeles.

Alan Harper returns to his nightclub story. ”So when me and Bryan go out” — Bryan Thomas, the Jets’ first-round pick — ”and we’re talking to some ladies, when they ask, ‘What do you do,’ we say, ‘We pick up garbage.’ And if they’re willing to talk to you if you pick up garbage, and take you for what you are, you might have something.”

How long, I ask, does he keep up the act?

”Once you talk to the girl, you get to know her a little bit,” he says. ”You let her know, ‘I play for the Jets.’ Or, usually, when they see your car.”

What kind of car, I ask Harper, does he drive?

”An Escalade.” He nods toward Keyshawn Johnson’s. ”But mine’s maroon.”

CHAPPELLE, STERN, EMILY
Comedy Central Crushed by Star's Disappearance...
Who is Dave out there talking to? Mandella? Dave Matthews? Charlize Theron?…
Comedy Central should make a spin off reality show called: “Wheres Chappelledo?”… or “Where in the World is Chappelle San Davidgo”. Have some other comics, fly out to South Africa and track him down. Or make it an Amazing Race Special. When shit hits the fan Comedy Central should be making the best of it. Oh well -It’s a shame. By the way, here’s Stern’s theory on it all:

$50 MILLION MYSTERY
Comedian, TV star and friend of the show, Dave Chappelle, has reportedly checked himself in to a mental health hospital in South Africa. Just the other day Comedy Central had announced that they were indefinitely postponing the show so this new news may give a hint as to what is going on. Howard again said that he thinks Chappelle just can’t deal with his show’s success. Howard thinks that Chappelle was tailor made to be a mid-level success and actually enjoyed just being a club comic who did an occasional movie. But since his show hit so big and Comedy Central gave him such a big contract that it must have freaked him out and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Everyone on the show wished Dave the best of luck and everyone said what a great guy he is.
Howard asked Doug Stanhope (guest) if he knew anything about Dave Chapelle’s situation. Doug said that all he knows is what he reads in the papers these days. They talked a little about Dave and how it must be the pressure of having a hit show that was getting to him.


Speaking of my main man Stern, It was really interesting…
the other day on the air, he was running down kinda like how he hit the pavement out of school to find a job. It was kinda crazy he brought that up because I am about to be in those same exact shoes as I am just about to graduate school. Check out what Stern had to do before he finally found his launchpad radio job.:

HOWARD’S JOURNEY – PART 1

Early this morning Artie Lange mentioned that May 7th marked his fourth year on this show. Howard congratulated him and said he’s been a great addition to the crew. Artie remembered it was four years here because Howard’s daughter had just started college when he came here and now she’s graduated. Howard said he remembered how hard it was to leave college and try to make it in the real world. He started to reminisce about his long struggle not just to be successful in radio, but even to get a job in radio in the first place. Howard said he’s never felt more scared or insecure as when he first graduated from college. Although Howard always knew he wanted to be in radio he never did an internship or anything while in college, so having mo experience or connections he basically fell apart after graduation. Howard used his college tape to make an air check and he started sending it out to everyone. Fortunately, he got hired by a very small, progressive station in Newton, MA before he even graduated so he was set! Or so he thought. After doing a few shifts, the program director told Howard he sucked so bad on the air that he wasn’t going to pay him. Howard recalled that that program director was just a kid like him and was a mess too. The program director pre-taped one of his shows and let the F word slip, and then he forgot to bleep it out when he broadcast it! To make matters worse, the kid freaked out and wrote an apology letter to the FCC and turned himself in. Howard said it was so stupid because no one listened to their station and the FCC could care less.

HOWARD’S JOURNEY – PART 2
Howard said his dignity was taking a huge hit working at the Newton station and the lack of a pay check wasn’t helping either so he decided to quit. The station started hiring professional announcers anyway so Howard figured he had no business being there anyway. He made a new air check and drove to Maine to look for a job. He figured he’d be able to get a job easily up there and met with a program director right away. The PD seemed to like Howard and then he took his air check and told him he’d call him back. Well, the guy never called him back. Howard said he couldn’t believe he was unemployable in Maine. So he decided to go for the gusto and apply to WBCN, the legendary station in Boston. Fortunately for him, WBCN had been hiring a lot of people from the Newton station Howard had worked at and they seemed very eager to meet him. Unfortunately for him, his tape still wasn’t that good and again, after a promising face-to-face meeting, the program director never called him back. Howard said his tape was so bad that WBCN was probably going to have him arrested for lying on his resume. After that Howard applied to a few more small stations with the same results – silence. Finally, at WRNW, he walked in and was hired on the spot! The PD said it was because he was in a suit and had his haircut so he figured he wasn’t a hippie and would actually show up on time. But Howard ended up turning this job down because he felt he wasn’t good enough to be on the station. Then he decided to get a real job in the city. Every day he’d go into the city with a briefcase full of resumes and the NY Times and start looking for jobs. He said he spent most of his time in a coffee shop though waiting out the day. He said the NY Times help wanted ads were crazy because they’d print stuff like “No Losers need apply”. Who thinks of themselves as a loser? Artie said he would have been looking for a job that was asking for losers to apply.

HOWARD’S JOURNEY – PART 3
Howard took some calls in the middle of his story and one of the callers told Howard he was sick of listening to his autobiography and wanted to hear a new topic. Howard said fine, he’ll stop talking about it but everyone in the studio was dying to hear the rest, so he continued. Howard said that he eventually landed a job as a “media planner” at an ad agency by lying about his qualifications on his resume. Since he really had no experience in marketing, when they started to give him work, he had no idea how to do it. Especially since the work involved a lot of math. Howard said he was completely lost and was working a ton of hours to try to keep up. And everyone thought he was doing a really job because he was working so hard! After awhile Howard had had enough and quit the job with no notice, which pissed his bosses off. At the same time one of Howard’s father’s friends, Roy Eaton, had gotten him an A/V job within the same agency. This was a job Howard actually wanted so he eagerly took it, but after his new bosses learned how he had recently quit his job as a planner with no notice, he was fired on the spot. Howard started bouncing around odd jobs again and finally called the guy at WRNW and told him he had made a huge mistake and wanted any job that was available. Luckily for him the guy gave him a midday shift and the rest is history. He went from there to WCCC in Hartford where he met Fred Norris who worked overnights there. Howard would eventually bring Fred with him to Washington DC and Fred’s been with him ever since.


and finally:
Emily Stern, Howard’s daughter just graduated college…
much props to her. I took the opportunity to try and see if she was on the college friendster-esque network Facebook. I found about 4 Emily Sterns. Well a def. fake one replied (she wasn’t even a senior in her profile and was born 1986, taking PSYCH101 etc)…”
4:26pm 05.12.05 Emily:
I will for sure tell him about your dedication to him!! He will be very proud. Congrats on graduating… maybe I’ll tell him to say hi to you on his next show! Later ‘Thee’ Emily Stern
7:30pm 05.12.05 Shabooty:
lol fess up that you’re not her because she just graduated and you are a soph :p rite?
5:33pm 05.13.05 Emily:
no no i just put the wrong year…my frineds mess around with it and so thats only what it says
XOX”

such a faker =P anyways read more:

ARE YOU A MUFFIN PERSON?
Congratulations to Emily Stern who graduated college yesterday. Howard said it was very emotional to go to see her graduate, more emotional than he thought it was going to be. He said the keynote speaker they had was really funny. It was Jim Taylor, who co-wrote “Sideways” and “Election” with Alexander Payne. Howard remembered that he had Julia Childs speak at his graduation. Robin said she feels that the keynote speakers are more for the parents than the students because the students just want to grab their diplomas and get out of there. James talked about how he waited till the last minute to write his speech because he didn�t know what to say. Then he talked about how he was standing in line at Starbucks and overheard a woman in front of him say how she “wasn’t a muffin person”. That made him think how he doesn’t know what kind of person he is. Is he a muffin person? It made him realize how this woman knew herself better than he knew himself. Howard said the whole rap was pretty funny.

later,
shab—

DO YOU WANT THE MAYONNAISE IN BETWEEN THE BUNS OR ON THE LETTUCE?
Welcome to Goodburger home of the Goodburger may I take your order please…
I think LiLoh’s weight went packing MIA style with Chappelle

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more LiLoh stuff here
and more pix here

I JUST HAD THE LAST CLASS OF MY UNDERGRAD COLLEGE CAREER
SKEET SKEET SKEET ON YOUR BABY SEAT?
ok at least, on your magnet :P


ctsy: Flamingo Jones